by Ken Lund

Relationship Dating: Older Women are not Cougars

Women have made significant strides in eliminating the barriers and double standards that were so commonplace a generation ago. It doesn’t mean we as a society have reached the equal opportunity plateau but things are changing.
Yet the double standard in some areas not only exists but remains entrenched. A perfect example is in the older woman younger man relationship.

When the shoe is on the other foot; namely an older man young woman, it seems the perspective changes significantly. After all it’s been around and accepted longer than most of us can remember. An older man gets a pat on the back while listening to an overwhelming majority of people sing his praises. He’s still got it is a common refrain.

Not so for the older woman. It’s all too often considered indecent or shameful that she would even think about dating someone outside of her age group. Never mind the fact that both parties are two consenting adults that just happen to find each other attractive while enjoying their time together.  

Currently there is a new terminology for older woman younger man dating called cougar dating. The implication is fun and intimacy without any serious commitment and for many adults that’s okay.

But in essence cougar means on the prowl ready to pounce on any unsuspecting prey and moving on. Also understand that term does not apply to both parties. Specifically it is the older woman seen as the predator.

Yes some sophisticated older women may be interested in nothing more than a one night stand or a May – December romance. But as you have already figured out that is also the way it is with many older men and yet no one calls that type of relationship lion dating. 

Whether certain well to do unattached older women made up the name for themselves is irrelevant. The point is society has decided to latch on to the phraseology and paint this kind of relationship as something other than what it is.

People are people and no matter what the age range and or difference there are different motivations and desires at work when it comes to a relationship.

For the majority of older women younger men it is about two individuals. Nothing more, nothing less. Like any dating relationship, there is attraction a certain amount of compatibility and a willingness to see if there is something to build on. The fact that an older woman is singled out and labeled for being in this kind of a relationship tells you as a society we still have a long way to go when it comes to female equality.

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A lot of women just don’t get it, but ask any guy who has ever dated an older woman what the attraction is, and you’ll get several different but very enlightening answers. There are some significant advantages to dating an older woman versus dating someone your own age or younger.

Less Drama!

This is a big one. Guys just don’t want to deal with all that drama, and younger women just seem to attract it like bees to honey. Guys like simplicity and value directness. They like things straightforward, up front, and easy to understand. We don’t want melodrama every other day, and we hate having to figure out what the heck women mean when they don’t say what they actually want. Older women have usually had more relationships and they’ve matured more than the women our age.

Older Women Know What They Want

Maybe this is a generalization, but older women tend to know what they want. They’re not still “finding themselves” or “evolving” at the same rapid degree younger women are. Again, there’s that maturity and experience factor at work here. They’ve lived a little, they’ve had life experiences, they’ve made mistakes, and now they have a pretty good idea of what they want. And if they want us (younger guys), that just shows how much they’ve learned and that they have pretty great taste, so why question it?

Older Women Are More Responsible

Younger, less mature women may not have steady jobs or careers and they’re often looking for someone to take care of them. They want someone to provide for them, bail them out of financial jams, and rescue them from whatever life crisis they’re going through, from having to work and be responsible for themselves, or from their own uncertainty about everything. Older women are more established, tend to have a decent job or career and maybe even a home of their own, and they aren’t so needy because they’re used to standing on their own two feet. We like that responsibility and their independence.

Older Women Are More Confident & Secure

Most guys will tell you one thing that drives them nuts about younger women or women their own age is that the are always battling with their self-esteem and seeking reassurance that they’re okay and you still love them. Hey, if you picked them and wanted to go out with them, shouldn’t that be a clue that you like them the way they are? So why are they constantly questioning themselves, fishing for compliments, and doubting themselves? Guys who date older women are happy to find that they’re usually confident about themselves and secure in who they are. They don’t need constant reassurance, and that’s a huge weight off of our shoulders. They’re also a lot less clingy.

It’s Hot & In Style Dating Older Women

Guys also think it’s just really hot to date an older woman. She’s usually more experienced sexually and knows what she wants, what she likes, and how to get it, if you know what we mean. She’s not afraid of her own sexuality either. Hey, what can we say? That’s just hot, right? And hot is always a very good thing.

Dating older women has its own merits. You don’t have the giddy little puffballs who try to be cute all the time, and you don’t have the obsessions and insecurities that most youths tend to have in spades.

Dating older women, however, have to be approached and treated differently from women of your age or those younger than you. You can easily screw up the first date if you don’t watch what you are doing, or you may even look like a total fool trying to be a know-it-all when you really don’t know squat about her.

So if you find yourself wanting to date older women, make sure to keep these quick but essential pointers in mind at all times:

Don’t be insecure

One of the first mistakes most men make when it comes to dating older women is to obsess over a sense of authority and power in the relationship.

Dating older women have had more life experience than you, and chances are they may even hold positions of power in their workplace. Don’t be intimidated or insecure by this fact. They are women too, and they are dating you because they seek to establish a relationship. Avoid making power and money an issue, or don’t date older women at all.

Find common ground

The age gap is a very real and very annoying reality when it comes to dating older women, and you have your part in sealing it.

Her interests may not appeal to yours, and your interests may not appeal to her. It is all about understanding and empathy, and you as a man should take the first step in doing that. This is especially so for a gap greater than five years, as the differences in generation start to become more marked and pronounced that previously thought. Talk things over in the first date, find some common ground that can bind you, and aggressively work that common ground when you meet. You can then find the bridge that you will link the two of you together.

Learn her wants

An older woman is dating you for a certain reason and it is up to you whether you will find them out or you will leave things up to chance.

While the latter makes for a more interesting and ‘romantic’ relationship, you will soon find out that your relationship will not last if you don’t make at least some effort to understand what she explicitly wants in a man. Simply ask her and observe her reasons for dating you and you will find the keys to developing the spark in your relationship.

And there is one last thing that you should keep in mind. Don’t forget to relax and be a little confident.

When dating older women, don’t let your insecurities about age or differences in power affect you. You are a man, she is a woman, and that is all that counts in the end. Most everything else are just the details that need to be sorted out, so don’t let them box you into a corner and on the defensive.

You’ve seen it in hollywood with today’s latest stars dating and marrying men much younger than them. So does this relationship trend of older women younger men dating have "legs"?

Apparently so, but hollywood has put cougar dating on the map in general society. You don’t have to be Madonna, Demi Moore or Mariah Carey to be a cougar! Yes ladies, it is happening all over the U.S. and probably the world as sophisticated older women are looking to actively date younger men and not just for the obvious reasons I might add.

Mature women have seen almost everything from lying cheating spouses to being mentally and physically abused men that have constantly preyed on women for years. These men who were supposedly more mature than the women that they dated, posed as being established, polished and knowing how to treat a women.

We were also flattered that an "older man" was interested in us.

We’re all past that now, and mature women are looking for younger men to date to have fun. We don’t need a man to necessarily be well established as most women that are cougars, already have this.

Older women looking to date younger men are looking for flitatious fun along with a young man who is confident in himself, but not overbearing. Many cougars won’t put up with overbearing, egotistical men who need to be in full control over them.

puppyfeet asked:

Ten to twenty years ago, it was more common to see older men with much younger women. Now it seems 20-something men are seeking out 30-something women for relationships and marriage (not just hook-ups). What do you think has caused this sudden change in tides?(And believe me, I am NOT complaining! lol)

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jsl79 asked:

I am a man that like to found if I can .places or Websites that deal with older women dating younger men if anybody help please that I like

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jsl79 asked:

I am a man that like to found if I can .places or Websites that deal with older women dating younger men if anybody help please that I like

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