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Cougar Dating: Female, Single And 30 Something

SajaDuarte — Mon, 24 May 2010 01:02:18 +0000

by Ken Lund

Dating: Female, Single And 30 Something

Single men are happily dating well into their 30s given that reproduction issues are not as prevalent as it is for women.

Sadly, women are viewed much differently to men when they enter into their 30s. Society can be very unkind with this issue giving 30 something women “out of date” labels whilst men are free to sow their wild oats. This view society has put on the sexes has fuelled women to become more independent and career oriented therefore distancing themselves from being dependant on men.

With no real possibilities of a male companion looming, women generally feel great pressure from within herself and also from her peers and family to get further involved in the dating scene and find the man who will father her children. And statistically, the later she leaves it she will be willing to accept a less compatible partner than if the pressures of her body clock were not a factor.

With the pressures 30 something year old single women face today has seen the demand for online dating rise year after year. Dating websites offer anonymity for single women to locate suitable single men without their families and associates judging their every move. Dating online is also very socially acceptable in this day and age and is a very publicized dating alternative. Along with other internet social outlets that include Face Book and My Space, online dating is paving the way for 30 year old single women to find relationships and maintain their careers and existing time restraining lifestyles.

Although some people may have her best concerns at heart, she should never feel driven into a relationship to please everybody else. The problem she faces nevertheless is that, as a woman of the world, she recognizes exactly what qualities she is looking for in her partner and her criteria is set so high that the men she dates frequently do not make the grade.

With this dilemma faced by ageing single women has seen the introduction and in recent times the acceptance of cougar dating. With seemingly less and less available single eligible men, some older women are turning to young men for companionship. This trend is adding fuel to the issue in that young men are not looking for anything ‘long term’ so what might be a challenge today, is quickly deemed as unwanted goods tomorrow.

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Relationship Dating: Older Women are not Cougars

SajaDuarte — Fri, 21 May 2010 00:58:01 +0000

by Ken Lund

Relationship Dating: Older Women are not Cougars

Women have made significant strides in eliminating the barriers and double standards that were so commonplace a generation ago. It doesn’t mean we as a society have reached the equal opportunity plateau but things are changing.
Yet the double standard in some areas not only exists but remains entrenched. A perfect example is in the older woman younger man relationship.

When the shoe is on the other foot; namely an older man young woman, it seems the perspective changes significantly. After all it’s been around and accepted longer than most of us can remember. An older man gets a pat on the back while listening to an overwhelming majority of people sing his praises. He’s still got it is a common refrain.

Not so for the older woman. It’s all too often considered indecent or shameful that she would even think about dating someone outside of her age group. Never mind the fact that both parties are two consenting adults that just happen to find each other attractive while enjoying their time together.

Currently there is a new terminology for older woman younger man dating called cougar dating. The implication is fun and intimacy without any serious commitment and for many adults that’s okay.

But in essence cougar means on the prowl ready to pounce on any unsuspecting prey and moving on. Also understand that term does not apply to both parties. Specifically it is the older woman seen as the predator.

Yes some sophisticated older women may be interested in nothing more than a one night stand or a May – December romance. But as you have already figured out that is also the way it is with many older men and yet no one calls that type of relationship lion dating.

Whether certain well to do unattached older women made up the name for themselves is irrelevant. The point is society has decided to latch on to the phraseology and paint this kind of relationship as something other than what it is.

People are people and no matter what the age range and or difference there are different motivations and desires at work when it comes to a relationship.

For the majority of older women younger men it is about two individuals. Nothing more, nothing less. Like any dating relationship, there is attraction a certain amount of compatibility and a willingness to see if there is something to build on. The fact that an older woman is singled out and labeled for being in this kind of a relationship tells you as a society we still have a long way to go when it comes to female equality.

Article written by Daryl Campbell- For older women younger men relationship tips check out this video at The Dating Relationship

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Cougar Dating

SajaDuarte — Fri, 21 May 2010 00:56:05 +0000

by choyoungkwan

Cougar Dating

It wasn’t all that long ago that the very idea of a mature woman dating a much younger man was strictly taboo. Nowadays, cougar dating seems to be very in vogue, even encouraged in some circles.

For some reason or other, the other way around has always been okay. Our society has long accepted men being coots (my word). Oh sure, we make fun of them and can’t believe that a woman half a man’s age can possibly care anything about him. Maybe, with cougars gaining popularity in the dating scene, we’ll have to rethink our preconceived notions of May/December romances.

One of the differences between coots and cougars may be the lack of commitment. While many older men often marry their young girlfriends, cougars are generally not looking for a long term relationship, although sometimes it does happen despite their original intentions. Mostly, they are looking for some fun, both in and out of the bedroom.

Cougars tend to be divorcees, fit, and financially sound. They are irresistible to young men looking for a mature, confident woman to spend time with.

One thing that boy toys (sometimes called cubs) like about their cougars is the fact that they can carry a conversation. Many young men find it frustrating when talking to women their own age, especially because of their tendency to giggle, and express their insecurities.

There are many pluses to cougar dating in addition to the ones already mentioned. Dating a younger man can be exciting. For an older woman to be desired by a good looking, passionate man who previously in history was considered off limits, is down right sexy, and you can bet that there is no Viagra needed. That hard bodied young stud doesn’t need it.

For the mature woman not looking to settle down, cougar dating may be ideal. She can enjoy her cub’s company, and move on when the relationship has run its course. This can be perfect for the young man, as well, especially if he wants to start a family some day. The couple get to enjoy each other for awhile, and no doubt learn things about a relationship that will help them in future.

If there is one caution about cougar dating, it would have to be to guard your heart. When two people get along well, laugh a lot together, have an amazing sex life, and can communicate openly and honestly with each other, there is the possibility of falling in love. If it happens for you both, that’s great. However if not, there will be the heartbreak that is typical of any relationship where one person has more invested emotionally than the other.

So, is it worth it to engage in cougar dating? Women say, “Definitely”. Most young men would answer with a resounding, “YES!” Which ones? Come on in and see.

Cougar Dating

Coming out of the Louvre for the first time in 1971, dizzy with new love, I stood on Pont Neuf and made a pledge to myself that the art of this newly discovered world in the Old World would be my life companion

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Cougars find younger men cubs with CougarLife.com

SajaDuarte — Sat, 08 May 2010 17:46:11 +0000

By Dan Koday

Watch Cougar videos in the news

Cougar Moms!

It can seem like it’s your mom’s job to mortify you. But a new wave of moms is doing more than making you blush: They act so sexy and flirtatious, they make you question their judgment — and your own sanity.

When Bri, 16, started high school, she thought it was cool that her mom was so much fun to hang out with. "My parents got divorced when I was 6, but high school is when it actually started to seem like a good thing — I was grateful to have a mom who wanted to shop at the same places and see the same movies I was into," she says. "I felt like we suddenly had so much in common, and I could tell her anything and she’d understand." But after a few months of sharing clothes and gossip, things started to take a turn for the worse: Bri’s mom went from shopping at the same stores as Bri did…to flirting with the same guys. "Now I can’t go anywhere without her flirting with every guy she meets. One of her recent boyfriends was 23. After that, she started going to my brother’s hockey games to flirt with his coach — who’s 12 years younger than she is — and they started dating." Bri says she wishes her mom would change — but not because it embarrasses her in front of her friends. "The truth is that my friends think my mom is so cool and pretty, and my guy friends think she’s sexy. My ex-boyfriend used to joke about getting with her! But I don’t want my crushes crushing on my mom. I feel like I have to keep her away from my new boyfriend to keep him from paying more attention to her than to me."

Bri’s mom is the perfect example of a cougar: an older woman who’s into (and almost seems to hunt down!) way younger guys. Lots of girls say their moms are on a cougar kick too: Meghan, 17, says her 46-year-old mom dated the same guy who’d dated one of her 18-year-old friends; Hunter, 18, sometimes feels as if her friends like her cougar mom more than they like her; and Jessica, 16, reports that ever since her parents got divorced last year, her mom "dresses up in short skirts and dates guys who are barely 25, then tells me everything about her sex life. It’s so awkward." The truth is that you want to be open with your mom — but it feels unsettling if she’s that open with you.

Cougar Nation

Of course, not all cougar moms — in real life or in Hollywood — have completely crossed the line. Take Courteney Cox’s character, Jules, on Cougar Town: She’s the kind of mom who, like so many out there, get out of a bad marriage and just want to look and feel their best. Maybe the cougar mom you know got married young and never had a chance to date around. Or maybe since her kids are busy with school and their own social lives and don’t need her as much anymore, she needs something to fill her time. All that freedom also explains why she has more time to take care of herself — shopping, working out, Botoxing…whatever it takes to look and feel young. "My mom had me at a young age and had to step up to the plate and take care of me. Now that I’m older, my mom loves to party, shop, and date, and I don’t have a problem with it," says De’Junique, 17. "It’s nice to have a mom who’s young and outgoing. I call her my Triple Threat — she’s a mom, a best friend, and like a sister. I can tell her anything, and even my friends tell her personal stuff."

Wild Cougars

Still, girls who are cool with cougar moms are the exception: The majority of girls who shared their stories with Seventeen wished their moms would change their embarrassing ways. Take Erica, 17. After her parents split up two years ago, her mom dyed her hair blonde and started wearing clothes "so tight they could be mistaken for a second skin." But that wasn’t as traumatizing as what she says her mom started doing next: partying all night at clubs and sometimes not even coming home. After a few months, Erica says her mom even drained Erica’s college tuition money to buy herself breast implants. "One night, a friend called to tell me she saw my mom leave a club with some guy," Erica says. "Hours after the call, my mom still wasn’t home, so I made my dad drive around town with me to look for her — I was worried she could be hurt or in an accident." When Erica arrived at the club to look for her mom, she found her — in a car, hooking up with a guy who’d recently graduated from Erica’s high school! "I was so humiliated and angry. I shouldn’t have to be a 17-year-old babysitting a 40-year-old woman. It’s not cool at all to have a cougar mom. I feel totally robbed of being a teenager."

Not only does having a cougar mom make you feel like you’re not getting your fair chance to be the "kid" in the family, but it also makes you feel uncomfortable to be competing with your mom. Plus your mom is supposed to be the one reassuring you that you’re gorgeous and awesome — but if she’s the one who needs constant reassurance, it can make you feel even more insecure and upset. But some moms do change. Jessica, 17, says that after her parents’ divorce, her mom was a total cougar. "She started dressing younger than she was and went through younger boyfriends like crazy," Jessica says. "I felt like her new life was more important to her than I was. But one day when she came out wearing a fishnet tube top and super-short shorts with three-inch heels, I flat out told her, ‘Mom, you look like a hooker.’ She treated it like a huge wake-up call, and it got us talking. I told her I understood it was hard to be single, but that she’d changed too much from the mom I could depend on, and that I missed her. Soon after that, everything changed: She broke up with her boyfriend, got a job, started acting her age, and made me a priority." Jessica says her mom is now showing her that she’s worthy of being trusted and looked up to. So maybe the secret to getting your mom to understand you is to try to understand her. Show her that you accept and love her — without judgment — and without any makeup, extensions, or that miniskirt you just know she borrowed from your closet.

Get Your Mom Back!

Here are the keys to having a great relationship with your mom — no matter what. Step 1 Have girl time: Instead of screaming at your mom or avoiding her altogether, ask her to set aside 20 minutes for the two of you this weekend — to go for a walk or for coffee or just to sit down in your living room. Step 2 Tell her what you need. Say: "When you act like this [tell her specifically what she does that upsets you], it makes me feel uncomfortable." Remind her that you need and love her. That will make her more open to your feelings, and less likely to feel defensive. Step 3 Don’t give up. If you don’t feel like you’re getting through to her, talk to someone else. You may feel embarrassed or protective of your mom, and not want to make her seem like a bad parent. But in the end, any mom-daughter relationship will be stronger and more genuine if you deal with your frustrations — instead of ignoring them or resenting her. By Dan Koday

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Cougar Dating Advice: Why Successful Women Fail With Men

SajaDuarte — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 08:23:00 +0000

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Dating Advice:
Why Successful Women
Fail With Men

Hey,

Have you ever thought that some men just don’t
like strong smart women like you?

What’s up with that!?

Are men that weak and immature?

Well, let me ask you an important question
about the men and love in your life.

By the way, how you answer this question could
tell the difference between finding a fun, loving
and almost effortless relationship that works out
in the long term.

Or…

Being single and lonely because every man you
get close to ends up resisting and withdrawing
from the love and connection you know could be
there.

So here’s the important question I have for
you:

Does not having the love and relationship you
truly want in your life change how you act as a
woman?

Think about it for a second.

I’m asking, because I recently got an amazing
email.

In the email, a woman shares her realization
about herself and men that has changed her
attitude and perspective about love for the
better.

Check out her FASCINATING email….

>>>> Email From A Reader

Christian,

I found your book to be incredibly interesting and
quite insightful. Lots of moments of clarity on a
subject that is, at least for me, fairly foggy.
While I’m not exactly new to the dating game, each
experience I have had with dating, boyfriends and
even a fiancée has turned up new and exciting
horror stories. And then all of a sudden, I think
I see the light. In reading your notes about women
who subconsciously send signals of essentially
being too interested and men’s responses to them,
I totally saw myself.

While I am more than a little reserved about an
outright appearance of “needy” (I’m a very
attractive, well educated, highly successful woman
and I don’t NEED anyone…right??) I suddenly
realize, after reading your book, that my inner
emotional state is actually very high-pressure,
even if I try (probably unsuccessfully) to hide
it. It’s my inner control freak taking over. I
find myself dressing a little nicer when I think I
might run into the boy-du-jour. Positioning myself
in places where I might “run into” him (I swear
I’m not a stalker, but I think most women actually
engage in this kind of ridiculousness).
Fantasizing about my life with him in it. And all
of a sudden, there I am, trying to take control
and ensure the proper development of this
“relationship”. (of course- I’m always in control,
right? That’s how i’ve gotten so far in my career
and other areas of life…) And then,
inexplicably, the more I try to control the
situation by impatiently interfering with the
natural flow of things, the more I lose my
patience and emotional cool. My long-winded point
is, that prior to reading your book, I had not
been able to step back from my own issues enough
to realize that my “control” was actually making
me lose control.

Amazingly, this explains not only my own
relationship breakdowns, but those of most of my
gorgeous, successful girlfriends who also seem to
have no luck with men. We have successfully built
careers (and great figures) with hard work,
persistence, and ultimately achieving control of
our situations. It’s a pattern that has worked in
careers where competition and winning is key.
However, sometimes I think we view romantic
interactions with men, not as an interpersonal
communication in which we must evaluate the other
person’s point of view, but as just another part
of the life scheme that has been set forth for
every good superwoman- the significant other that
we are expected and expect to have. The problem is
that. you never “have” another person. Nor should
you. Your book made me step back and reevaluate
how I have been going about dating- as though it
was a means to an end. And I firmly believe that
this was the point of breakdown for me (and
probably for lots of other women). Dating must be
viewed as a means to a relationship with another
person, not as a means to HAVE that other person.
Thus, that person’s needs must be objectively
evaluated as very much separate from my own. If
men can be happy and even have a need to pursue
and compete, then why be readily available? It
just doesn’t make sense when you put it that way.
And you did.

As a result of your book, I truly believe I will
be able to reevaluate the way I look at the men I
date- as PEOPLE. With individual interests, needs,
wants, beliefs and expectations. Not as extensions
of myself (like MY career and MY home) that I
build based on my expectations, interests, etc.
Thank you so much for sharing your gift of a fresh
perspective, no doubt based upon plenty of
extensive research. I really think this will
change dating for me.

Sincerely, A.W. in
Missouri

>>>> My Response

Wow.

I love hearing from smart, analytical and
thoughtful women like you.

Thanks for being so open and sharing your
personal experiences… and for the feedback about
my book.

There’s something that’s really FASCINATING
about what you’ve brought up.

Over the last several 20 or 30 years, as women
have started to enjoy a more “equal” place in
society with careers, opportunity, etc., something
strange has happened.

Have you noticed that women are often no longer
considered “womanly” or “feminine” once they’ve
become independent and successful in their own
right?

I have.

And not coincidentally, everywhere I go I hear
women talk about how much it sucks that men are
intimidated by successful women and don’t want to
be with women who are on an “equal” or higher
standing.

Well, with so many women talking about this
phenomenon, I’ve thought a lot about how and why
this is happening to women.

And why men are responding the way they are.

How can being smarter, more independent,
talented, etc. than other women and other men
actually become something negative?

After lots of research, observation, and
personal experience, here’s what I realized about
the “plight” of the successful and independent
woman…

I’m about to tell you the reasons why
successful women often have a HARDER TIME than
other women finding love.

REASON #1: INDEPENDENT AND SUCCESSFUL WOMEN ARE
SMART ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS

Have you ever noticed that other smart and
successful women around you are often the ones
alone or in the least fulfilling relationships?

And have you ever noticed that no matter how
intellectually educated a woman is, it doesn’t
make her immune to the problems of love that a
broke or uneducated woman might face?

How can that be?

Does that mean an education and success is
worthless?

No. But it does mean that one doesn’t have
ANYTHING to do with the other.

Lots of women assume that since they’re
intelligent they can FIGURE OUT or solve any dumb
little dating or relationship dilemma.

They think that all it takes is enough focus
and determination and they’ll work everything out.

This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

You can’t “think” a man into feeling something
for you.

Just like you can’t get a man to treat you
differently just because you logically figured out
what’s wrong with him and let him know.

In fact, doing the latter is more likely to
have you standing alone in the cold than being
held tightly in his arms.

Being “right” doesn’t mean you’ll be loved.

REASON #2: BELIEVING IN THE “MEN DON’T LIKE
SUCCESSFUL WOMEN” MYTH

I can’t tell you how many women I talk to that
tell me how men are scared and turned off by, or
intimidated by, successful or independent women.

I get where they’re coming from, but they’ve
confused one thing for another.

The truth is, men DON’T DISLIKE successful
women. But they DON’T LIKE them either.

Let me explain…

It’s obvious in this day in age that being
successful and independent aren’t “male” qualities
that exclude women from being attractive if they
have them.

But here’s the thing…

Most men DON’T CARE how successful a woman is.

I literally mean it. They don’t care.

Here’s why:

No matter what a woman does for a living, and
no matter how much money she makes, none of that
is going to make a man FEEL anything for a woman.

Following me here?

Are you attracted to a man JUST because he’s
rich or successful or can buy whatever he wants?

Obviously not. A man’s success can add to his
appeal, but it doesn’t create it.

Men aren’t any different in how they feel about
women.

But lots of women who are successful, secretly
believe that their success should change how men
act around them.

And some women, just like men often do, start
to rely on their success to try and attract men.

The truth is, success isn’t going to turn a man
on or create a great situation.

If a woman doesn’t UNDERSTAND how to attract a
man and create a great relationship, becoming
successful isn’t going to change that.

But being a woman who LEARNS to ATTRACT men and
create the right situation for love AND also
happens to be successful will.

REASON #3: SUCCESS ITSELF WON’T GET YOU THERE

Being successful can be a nice quality or a
“bonus” about a woman, but inside a man’s mind,
success has nothing to do with whether or not he
feels ATTRACTION or LOVE.

But lots of successful women seem to be
disappointed by this.

Understandably, they’re frustrated that the
respect and status that they’ve earned at the
office or in life hasn’t translated over to their
love-life.

Even though in the back of their minds they
keep thinking that becoming successful has worked
for men all these years.

WRONG.

This isn’t how it works for men either, so let
me use that as an example.

Just because a man is successful or rich, a
genuine and open woman doesn’t care anything about
that.

She only cares about how he makes her FEEL.

Most women just want to know that a man makes
her FEEL ATTRACTED to him, and that he’s open and
loving and he’ll always be the strong and solid
person that he is today.

So even if a man is rich and handsome, if he
doesn’t LEARN to become a good partner who makes a
woman EXPERIENCE LOVE and FEEL ATTRACTION, then
the woman isn’t going to respond.

Like it or not, it works the same way for
successful women.

Success won’t buy you love, affection or get
you shortcuts to a great situation with a man.

It just might help get you in the door.

REASON #4: ASSUMING THAT SUCCESS “STRATEGIES”
CROSS OVER TO MEN AND RELATIONSHIPS

Successful women have obviously found and used
smart “strategies” to get where they are with the
people around them.

They try and test all kinds of new ideas,
approaches, attitudes, etc. until they find what
works and then they stick with what’s best.

And things go great. It’s like they’ve got the
world and everyone around them all figured out.

That is, until they run into a “guy-problem”
and somehow everything seems to instantly go
whacko and stop working.

So they just take their best strategy and try
harder and harder at it, sure that it will work
since they’ve seen the world open up to them with
it.

But there’s no results this time and it’s a
total shock to the system.

Men are the WORST at doing this by the way.

Tons of husbands come home each night and try
to run their family and marriage with the logic
and efficiency that they use to make things work
in business.

How do you think that works out?

REASON #5: SUCCESSFUL WOMEN OFTEN “ACCIDENTALLY”
PREVENT MEN FROM NATURALLY FEELING ATTRACTION WITH
THEM

Have you ever thought about how a man falls in
love with a woman?

One of the most important and central elements
of love that takes a man from just “interested” to
“in love” with a woman is experiencing a LOSS of
CONTROL and the absence of PREDICTABILITY with the
woman.

And no, this doesn’t mean that he gives control
over to the woman and she has it.

I’ll explain…

When a man is experiencing ATTRACTION and
CHEMISTRY with a woman and he DOESN’T know exactly
what’s going to happen next, then everything
becomes terribly exciting.

And if the woman isn’t acting controlling or
manipulative, then there’s a “space” or “void”
that’s created between the man and woman.

It’s this natural “psychological space” that
moves the man closer and closer to the woman as
he’s trying close the “emotional gap” between
them.

Then the man begins to wonder what he can do to
win over more of the woman’s affections and
attention.

And it’s this out of control feeling and the
desire to fill in the gap between himself and the
woman that starts the classic patterns of love.

Unfortunately, lots of successful women get in
THEIR OWN WAY and prevent the natural patterns
that lead to love from taking place.

The most common way that successful women get
in their own way is when they starting doing
things to control each and every aspect of what’s
going on between her and the man.

*Cue the semi-obsessive behaviors like those
that the reader mentioned in her email.

Like plotting to be where a man will be and
then pretending to have “run into him”.

I think a lot of us can identify with that kind
of behavior in one way or another.

The problem with these kinds of behaviors is
that they do something damaging to us when we use
them.

These are self-manipulations that stir up all
kinds of anxiety and distance in your own mind.

AVOID THESE kinds of things, because they only
lead to more obsessive worrying and more plotting.

It’s part of what’s called a negative feedback
loop.

What’s most important here is that these
behaviors do an almost perfect job of destroying
the “tension” a man and a woman both feel when
there’s a “natural” flow of energy between them.

REASON #6: SUCCESSFUL WOMEN ARE USED TO BEING
IN CONTROL

Most mature women want to have a great
relationship and continually experience deep love
and intimacy once they’ve found a worthwhile and
attractive guy.

But often times their desire to have their
ideal situation is so strong that it can actually
drive them to try and CONTROL the situations
they’re in and the man they’re with.

Successful women have an uncanny ability to
pull together every aspect of their life and make
it work.

But what happens when successful women who have
been gracefully in control of their lives get into
a situation where they can’t CONTROL the outcome
and the other people involved?

What happens when there is NO LOGICAL SOLUTION
or straight-forward answer that will make things
work out the way they’re used to?

What happens when they get involved with a man
and things are no longer within their ability to
control?

In these situations, successful women often end
up feeling completely OUT OF CONTROL and begin to
panic.

And then FEAR kicks in because they’re not used
to not having total control of their environment.

So they start doing whatever they can think of
or what works for them in other situations in
order to try and get CONTROL back in their lives.

Of course, what they often do to try and regain
control is negative, fear-driven, and doesn’t take
into account the feelings and desires of the
man… and so it backfires.

The man freaks out, he sees her as “crazy” and
then he withdraws.

You might unfortunately already know that
story.

What’s fascinating here is that the woman’s
attempts to CONTROL are often more DESTRUCTIVE
than they are productive.

Trying to CONTROL how a man feels, what he
thinks and how he acts around them, not only
doesn’t usually work for women – it often works
AGAINST them and repels the man.

REASON #7: THEY FALL INTO THE TRAP OF USING
“MASCULINE ENERGY” TO SHAPE THEIR LOVE-LIFE

The energy, drive, focus and discipline that
can push women to success in their work can be a
potent force to create the outcomes they want.

Unfortunately, this same attitude and approach
DOESN’T translate over to getting outcomes women
might want with men, love and relationships.

In fact, this attitude often becomes an
obstacle to creating an intimate and loving
situation with a man.

Successful women often make the mistake of
approaching men and relationships with the same
kind of intensity and energy that they seek to
influence or control things at work.

They start to lead their interactions,
conversations and decisions with men with what I
call “masculine energy”.

This energy is very direct and purposeful and
it has an amazing ability to motivate and push us
to overcome and break through barriers.

But it isn’t the energy that creates an intense
and LASTING CONNECTION with a man.

The “feminine energy” is the energy that
attracts a man and can lead and TEACH him how and
why to stay open to a woman.

This feminine energy is what shows even the
most clueless and reckless of men how to become
great and loyal partners – just like it’s the
masculine energy that ATTRACTS women and shows
them a man’s strength, love and character.

Now, I’m not saying that women don’t and
shouldn’t have masculine energy. Lots of
attractive and interesting women are full of
masculine energy.

But I’ve learned that women can be VERY
SUCCESSFUL and have AMAZING LOVE LIVES by knowing
when to use masculine and feminine energy.

The key is awareness.

So let me ask you….

When a woman uses or leads her interactions
with a man with their more “masculine” energy,
what happens?

Most men aren’t able to open up or attach and
connect with a woman who’s meeting them with their
“masculine energy”.

It doesn’t make a man FEEL close, comfortable,
trusting and it doesn’t draw him in to connect
with her.

In fact, lots of men react NEGATIVELY to women
who present them with a lot of masculine energy.

When some women talk about men not liking
successful women, this is what they’re talking
about.

Men don’t like the masculine energy that a
woman is putting in place of something WAY MORE
IMPORTANT to a man:

How ATTRACTED he is to her and how she makes
him FEEL.

So let’s wrap this up for now…

One of the most critical things that I see
successful women “missing” in their interactions
with men, dating and relationships, is the idea of
creating “Intellectual Attraction” – and using
their natural “feminine energy” to do so.

A man might enjoy the idea of a woman being
successful, but it isn’t going to make him think
about her like he might a woman who pushes all his
male buttons.

A man doesn’t think, “Gee, she’s got a great
job, makes good money and doesn’t depend on anyone
else to support her, I think I’ll be into her.”

Actually, it’s the exact opposite.

A man sees or meets a woman and Wham!

He instantly falls for her, and he can’t
exactly explain why.

And that’s because there is no reason or logic
to why it happens – it happens inside a man’s
mind.

When a man becomes attracted and interested in
a woman, it’s because his FEELINGS and EMOTIONS
were TRIGGERED by something about the woman.

And no amount of logic, analyzing, convincing
or “success” in a woman’s life can control this.

If a man doesn’t FEEL IT for a woman, nothing
else will do the trick.

But if a woman CAN make a man feel attraction
for her, then it doesn’t matter how successful,
gorgeous or shapely she is.

After years or research and observations, I’ve
finally “cracked the code” on what actually works
to trigger ATTRACTION in men.

And you’d be surprised to learn that ANY WOMAN
can learn what these triggers are and how to start
learning to use them in her own life and
relationships.

Of course, I’m not just talking about that
“one-night stand” male kind of attraction.

That’s easy. Seduce a man.

I’m talking about the “long-term-he-stays-up-
all-night-thinks-about-her-all-the-time-and-does-
crazy-romantic-boyish-things-just-because-he-has-
to” attraction.

That deeper and more intimate “relationship
material” attraction.

I call this “Intellectual Attraction”.

In my ebook I talk about how any woman,
including an analytical, successful and driven
woman, can learn how to avoid all the common
obstacles to love that they put up in their lives
that men respond negatively to.

I discuss specific steps and theories about how
to find and identify that great guy, build intense
passion and attraction and turn all that into a
great long term situation with a man.

So what do you have to lose?

I’ll even let you try my ebook free just to see
if you like it.

If you don’t, all you have to do is email and
I’ll give you a full 100% refund… AND you can
still keep the book.

That means all YOU have to do is be willing to
open your mind to the idea that your love life can
be better than it is right now.

And believe that you can have the chemistry,
lasting attraction and love that you deserve.

So go check out my ebook for free and be on
your way to the next great phase of your love-life.

Go here now:

• Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download •

And best of luck in life and love!

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

©Copyright 2010, Catch Him Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Copyright materials used by permission.
“Catch Him And Keep Him” and “Christian Carter”
are trademarks of Catch Him Inc.

Older Women Dating Younger Men (Cougars) Useful Information

SajaDuarte — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 19:03:08 +0000

Using The “Magic”
of Intuition With Men

Have you ever felt “magic” with a man?

Like when the connection you and a guy share is so strong that something inside you just tells you’ve got something real and special.

That connection and chemistry is almost impossible to describe to someone who doesn’t have it, but it’s even more impossible to ignore when you’ve got it.

Even if you know the guy isn’t the right kind of guy to be wanting to settle down with.

You can’t stop thinking about the man and the connection – it’s like a spell over the both of you.

Infatuation, crushes, connections, chemistry or even the “L” word.

That’s right, LOVE.

At one time or another, one of these have had almost magical powers over you that make you see, feel and act in ways you never would have before.

Well, believe it or not, there’s other magic waiting for you beyond connections or chemistry when it comes to men, dating and relationships.

The best part is that you’ve got your very own kind of “magic” up your sleeve that you can tap into whenever you want and use it for your own immediate benefit.

What kind of magic and what kind of benefits you ask?

Using this magic could mean the difference between finding out any major issues a guy has before they become a real problem OR getting your heart broken and never have seen it coming.

Let me ask you…

Have you ever been with a guy and he seemed to have it all together?

He was caring, loving, generous, present and aware and you had such an amazing time together.

But then some of his issues popped up out of NOWHERE.

Maybe his issues were some of the dreaded and common ones we predictable and difficult men go through like these:

- He started getting restless and he talked about how he wasn’t really ready to settle down.

- He didn’t see things getting as serious as you did.

- The connection started fading. He didn’t try to connect to you much anymore and share his intimate feelings.

- You weren’t a priority. He wanted to spend his time with his friends or other people and didn’t value the time you spent together like you did.

- He started flirting, talking to or even getting together with other women even if he wasn’t technically “cheating”.

Recognize any of these?

What’s going on here?

Here’s where your “magic” comes in.

(When I say “magic” in this case, I mean something that will give you perception and insights into situations before and while they’re happening)

OK, you might already be thinking,

“Has he lost it?”

“What in the world is he talking about MAGIC for?”

“Who believes in that stuff anyways?”

I’m with you there…

The magic I’m talking about here isn’t that far out stuff about conjuring up spells or changing into an animal.

Let’s leave that kind of magic to Harry Potter and your imagination.

The magic I’m talking about is different and exists in the real world, but it’s just as amazing.

And it centers around an important idea-

*You instinctively know more about what’s going on in the world around you than you or your conscious mind fully recognizes.

Wow, getting pretty heavy here.

Don’t worry… I’ll bring this back down to earth and land the plane quickly. And that’s where this will get fascinating…

Here’s the kicker-

You ALREADY HAVE this magical ability.

All you have to do is tune into it.

Easier said than done, right. So how does that work?

This “magic” is something that comes “pre-wired” in your brain because of the way your consciousness and your subconscious mind is hooked up to the rest of your complex body systems and senses.

So the good news is that this ability is there for you anytime you want to use it.

But the bad news is that you have to take time to fully tune into it and recognize your ability. Kind of like a practice.

Music is a good analogy for this – You can’t just pick up an instrument and start playing, right?

But once you start to become more aware of the instrument, the music and how to play, things start to naturally fall into place.

Sounds, melodies and rhythms just start to flow out of you while you’re in the moment.

It’s like they appear out of thin air and nothing could feel more natural. And your mind is able to process all the information coming at it and use it to anticipate what’s next.

Well, this is EXACTLY what this magical ability of yours is like.

Your mind is constantly picking up on information from your environment, even when you’re not really conscious of it.

And all that information is being “processed” over and over to try and calculate the risk, danger, and expectations from your environment to try to find a way towards the outcome you want.

So let’s get to it. What is this “magical” ability?

And why am I talking about it?

Well, I’ll start with what the ability is…

**INTUITION**

You’re probably already familiar with the word.

But stop right there…

When you hear the term “intuition”, it’s easy to attach all of your previous feelings and beliefs about it and dismiss it as some kind of new age “flaky” stuff.

I hear you, but indulge me here by keeping an open mind for a few minutes- I’ll make it worth your while.

How?

Well, to put it simply, you’d be cheating yourself by not spending the couple of minutes or so that it takes to open your mind to the natural power of your intuition and how to tune into it.

And that couple of minutes could help you solve some of the age-old challenges women have about knowing and understanding what’s really inside a man’s heart and mind.

I mean, it’s not like men make it very easy for women, right?

I don’t have to tell you, but MEN ARE BAD COMMUNICATORS when it comes to their feelings, emotions and intentions around love and relationships.

So knowing that men are often this way, you have a choice here:

You can either do nothing about it and continue to be shocked, frustrated, surprised and hurt by the things you find out about men after the fact.

Or…

You can start to create a more perceptive and insightful way of being in your own life and relationships by using more the natural intuitive abilities you already have.

Which one will it be?

Cool… so you’re ready to tune into your own intuitive ability.

Good call – let’s get rolling.

Using Your Intuition With Men And Dating

Using your intuition might be the best, and in some situations the ONLY, way that you’ll be able to see through all the external “behavior stuff” going on with a man and get to the truth of what’s really happening inside his mind and what his behavior is when you’re not around.

Like when a man plays hard to get, or he doesn’t call you much or initiate, or when a man gets close and then withdraws from you right after.

Why do men do this?

For each one of these I’ve got some interesting insights and theories that can help.

But…

From my perspective, there are some extremely important concepts that you need to understand before you can really “get” where a man is coming from or understand what his behaviors and issues are all about.

First, you need to build your foundation of understanding and make sure your own personal belief systems aren’t all mixed up. If they are, there’s no way for you to see the real “cause and effect” around you.

You’ll just see what your mind is fearful and afraid of, and it will only pick out and see what it knows from the past.

Which is usually is a result of a few things you’ve experienced before.

Including good relationships, bad relationships, pain, broken trust, destructive behaviors, etc…

Humans learn in all kind of fascinating ways, but not all of them produce decisions and conclusions that reflect the reality of what’s actually going on.

That’s why I find belief systems so fascinating. Our minds basically act as giant pattern recognition machines – which can either lead us to right or wrong conclusions and ways of perceiving our environment.

But let’s bring this back down to earth…

Do you know anyone women close to you who’ve had difficult relationships in the past?

And now they often have unfounded and negative fears about any man around them?

Their past experiences have had a huge impact on their personal beliefs and how they see themselves and the world.

Anyways, before I get even more off on a tangent-

I’ve got to get on with it, so I’ll need to give you abridged version. In other words, the very shortest route to get away from counterproductive thoughts and beliefs you might already have and onto positive results.

Here are some of the most important concepts you’ll need to keep in your mind as you move towards listening to and using your intuition with men:

1. Men Don’t Make Sense

All those frustrating things that men do that don’t make any sense to you as a woman will NEVER MAKE SENSE. Stop trying to make sense of them for yourself. Trying to make sense of a man in your own terms is entirely counterproductive and gets little or no results other than you becoming increasingly frustrated.

There’s a better way.

2. You Can’t Figure Everything Out

Have you ever REALLY hit it off with a guy but after a few weeks or months, even though things seemed great, the man pulled away and starting acting distant and cold?

Most men, at one time or another, do things like this that are ridiculous and impossible to figure out. So EXPECT to NOT UNDERSTAND everything a man does. If you can become more comfortable with the idea of not knowing everything about WHY a man does what he does, then you’ll feel a strange sense of calm relaxation – along with an increase in your own self-confidence.

I’m not saying that it’s OK for a man to do whatever and that you should accept any negative and withdrawing behaviors without bringing it up and confronting it.

You absolutely should take notice and make mention of these things when you see them.

But the more relaxed and positive you can think and feel around these things, no matter what the man is doing, the sooner you’ll stop fighting everything in your mind and start creating better situations for yourself.

It’s frustrating and counterintuitive, but accepting what’s going on and moving forward from that reality in a positive way changes the whole frame of the situation.

But some women get stuck in the “I need to understand why he does this and THEN I’ll figure out what to do, think and feel” mindset.

This almost never leads to clear thinking and positive action. Remember, men don’t make any sense. So don’t depend on their actions making sense for you to develop your own opinions, judgments and next steps.

Pay attention to your gut, what you want in your life and what you know is right instead of rationalizing and finding a way for it to all fit together and be OK.

3. Ask Yourself Questions, Be Patient And Your Intuition Will Talk

Your intuition talks to you through feelings, images, and bodily sensations such as “gut feelings”. Learn to pay attention to what these are trying to tell you and what’s going on when they pop up in your mind.

Maybe you’re being more open and relaxed when those intuitive gut feelings come to you – so try to get back to that place more often. This way you’ll end up being able to tap into your intuition more often when you need it.

If you don’t think you have a strong intuitive sense, simply try asking yourself more questions and keep them mulling around in your mind.

When you’ve got something in the back of your mind, something amazing happens without you even trying.

Your brain takes notice and uses all your senses to find any sign or trace of information that relates to your questions as you go about your day.

It’s kind of like a search running in the background on your computer – even though you’re doing something else it doesn’t stop looking.

After you’ve asked your questions, your mind will start sending you ideas, feelings and images without you even thinking about it. But sometimes this takes more time than you’d like.

Finally, your intuitive voice will eventually just pop up and start to give you hints and information without you even asking for it. And then it’s up to you to pay attention, acknowledge it and make good use of it.

4. Think Positive – Don’t Fill Your Mind With Fear And Doubt

Some women end up worrying almost obsessively that something is wrong or going badly with a guy they’re interested in or dating once they see some negative sign or pattern.

And once this happens, they want to know what’s going on so intently that they start letting their negative and obsessive thoughts take over.

If you want to be able to use your intuition, you need to start interrupting that voice in your head that’s the “fear-monger”.

You know the one – that voice that’s always worrying just to try and keep you safe and protected.

The thing is, you can’t find the truth in a situation if you if your mind is buried in your fears and doubts.

Just like how overly arrogant people can be misled by their false sense of belief in themselves.

Keep a balanced and objective mindset.

5. Start With Smaller, Less Important Questions For Your Intuition To Answer

If your new to using your intuition or you’re concerned with if or how to act on it, start with smaller things that might be less important – like whether or not you should go away for the weekend or if your friend will like the gift you’ve been thinking about for them.

That way, you can be practicing and learn to use your intuition without doing it in high-risk or high-pressure situations. This will help you develop your abilities and become more comfortable to trust what you find with your intuition.

6. Act On Your Intuition With The “Long-Term” In Mind

Years ago I had a huge learning experience when it came to using and listening to my intuition in the right way.

The situation came up when I was worried that a few people I worked with, who were my managers at the time, we’re talking about me and scrutinizing my work more closely than they had before.

Feeling and sensing the scrutiny, I immediately felt worried about my job and wondered if they were thinking about letting me go.

The company had laid off several employees a few months before, so I began to think that their extra attention to my work must have something to do with another round of cost-cutting.

Anyways, aside from my own professional insecurities at the time, my gut told me that something bad was coming.

So what should I do?

I was really worried.

I decided to push myself even harder at work to try and show them how valuable I was in hopes that I would keep my job. But that uncomfortable and nervous feeling in my stomach that came with my intuition about their scrutiny of my work stayed with me for the next several weeks.

Well, it turns out that my managers were watching me and judging my performance. But it wasn’t for the reasons I feared.

A few weeks later I was called into a meeting with the managers who had been watching me closely.

Walking down the hall to the meeting, I had a lump in my throat and a turning stomach.

My intuition was leading me to the conclusion that this was it – I was getting fired for the first time in my life.

I couldn’t believe it.

So I walked into the meeting feelings anxious, defensive and tense.

As I sat down, one of my managers could immediately sense my discomfort and asked me what was wrong.

Without provocation, I immediately started defending my job and showing my insecurities.

My emotions got the best of me and I even said a few negative things about the managers themselves, as I wanted to place what I saw as equal blame on the managers for the companies problems.

They quickly stopped me once I started into these issues.

Then they let me know that they had been watching my performance because they wanted to put me in charge of a new division. They wanted to be confident in their decision so they paid extra attention to my work to be sure – and now they were.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief and my mood completely changed.

End of story.

Thinking back, my intuition had alerted me so that I’d be aware of what was going on.

But the mistake I made was taking that information and using it to justify my own fears and insecurities.

If I would have taken the information, been patient with it and applied it towards my goals in a positive context, then the entire experience knowing that the managers were watching my work would have been fun and enjoyable.

But I didn’t use my intuition to see my way to something better, I simply used it as a means to worry and stress myself out.

So all this talk about intuition.

How does it really apply to the men in your life, dating and relationships?

Well, take a man with some of those common negative behaviors we were talking about earlier-

- fear of intimacy
- inability to commit
- flirting, cheating

Intuition can help you see past these things and understand them in the larger context of the deeper real “psychological and emotional stuff” that’s hiding beneath the surface.

Your intuition could even help you cut through a man’s ego and persona to get to the real person that’s hard to find.

I bet you’ve known a man who other women think would never settle down or have a sensitive side. But you’ve seen that this actually does have more long term intimate feelings and emotional attachments buried underneath.

Intuition is probably the best tool for being able to identify good and bad qualities in a man – and knowing them for what they are.

A man’s external or surface behavior and attitude can be very different than his deeper desires and intentions – as you probably already know.

Some men are, unfortunately, just good at playing the part of an emotionally stable, available and loving guy for a while, even if they aren’t.

So it’s really up to YOU to learn to get to the “deeper emotional truth” of any man you’re interested in or dating.

And yeah, I know men can be sooo frustrating for women.

In a better world, men would be able to tell you honestly and sincerely where they were at.

But as you know, MEN SUCK sometimes.

They can be HORRIBLY out of touch when it comes to feelings and emotions.

So if you’re constantly surprised, blind-sided or confused by what people around you do, (most of all men) then it’s time to get in touch with the amazing intuitive ability you have waiting for you.

To take your intuition to the next level – the more you already know the better.

For some of the best knowledge out there on what’s inside a man’s mind, how to identify good men (or the wrong guys), and to read more about the common behaviors most men have when they’re either smitten with a woman or desperately unable to get it together, then check out my ebook “Catch Him And Keep Him”.

You can check out all the details here:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

Thanks for reading and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

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