By Dan Koday

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Cougar Moms!

It can seem like it’s your mom’s job to mortify you. But a new wave of moms is doing more than making you blush: They act so sexy and flirtatious, they make you question their judgment and your own sanity.

When Bri, 16, started high school, she thought it was cool that her mom was so much fun to hang out with. "My parents got divorced when I was 6, but high school is when it actually started to seem like a good thing I was grateful to have a mom who wanted to shop at the same places and see the same movies I was into," she says. "I felt like we suddenly had so much in common, and I could tell her anything and she’d understand." But after a few months of sharing clothes and gossip, things started to take a turn for the worse: Bri’s mom went from shopping at the same stores as Bri didto flirting with the same guys. "Now I can’t go anywhere without her flirting with every guy she meets. One of her recent boyfriends was 23. After that, she started going to my brother’s hockey games to flirt with his coach who’s 12 years younger than she is and they started dating." Bri says she wishes her mom would change but not because it embarrasses her in front of her friends. "The truth is that my friends think my mom is so cool and pretty, and my guy friends think she’s sexy. My ex-boyfriend used to joke about getting with her! But I don’t want my crushes crushing on my mom. I feel like I have to keep her away from my new boyfriend to keep him from paying more attention to her than to me."

Bri’s mom is the perfect example of a cougar: an older woman who’s into (and almost seems to hunt down!) way younger guys. Lots of girls say their moms are on a cougar kick too: Meghan, 17, says her 46-year-old mom dated the same guy who’d dated one of her 18-year-old friends; Hunter, 18, sometimes feels as if her friends like her cougar mom more than they like her; and Jessica, 16, reports that ever since her parents got divorced last year, her mom "dresses up in short skirts and dates guys who are barely 25, then tells me everything about her sex life. It’s so awkward." The truth is that you want to be open with your mom but it feels unsettling if she’s that open with you.

 Cougar Nation

Of course, not all cougar moms in real life or in Hollywood have completely crossed the line. Take Courteney Cox’s character, Jules, on Cougar Town: She’s the kind of mom who, like so many out there, get out of a bad marriage and just want to look and feel their best. Maybe the cougar mom you know got married young and never had a chance to date around. Or maybe since her kids are busy with school and their own social lives and don’t need her as much anymore, she needs something to fill her time. All that freedom also explains why she has more time to take care of herself shopping, working out, Botoxingwhatever it takes to look and feel young. "My mom had me at a young age and had to step up to the plate and take care of me. Now that I’m older, my mom loves to party, shop, and date, and I don’t have a problem with it," says De’Junique, 17. "It’s nice to have a mom who’s young and outgoing. I call her my Triple Threat she’s a mom, a best friend, and like a sister. I can tell her anything, and even my friends tell her personal stuff."

Wild Cougars

Still, girls who are cool with cougar moms are the exception: The majority of girls who shared their stories with Seventeen wished their moms would change their embarrassing ways. Take Erica, 17. After her parents split up two years ago, her mom dyed her hair blonde and started wearing clothes "so tight they could be mistaken for a second skin." But that wasn’t as traumatizing as what she says her mom started doing next: partying all night at clubs and sometimes not even coming home. After a few months, Erica says her mom even drained Erica’s college tuition money to buy herself breast implants. "One night, a friend called to tell me she saw my mom leave a club with some guy," Erica says. "Hours after the call, my mom still wasn’t home, so I made my dad drive around town with me to look for her I was worried she could be hurt or in an accident." When Erica arrived at the club to look for her mom, she found her in a car, hooking up with a guy who’d recently graduated from Erica’s high school! "I was so humiliated and angry. I shouldn’t have to be a 17-year-old babysitting a 40-year-old woman. It’s not cool at all to have a cougar mom. I feel totally robbed of being a teenager."

Not only does having a cougar mom make you feel like you’re not getting your fair chance to be the "kid" in the family, but it also makes you feel uncomfortable to be competing with your mom. Plus your mom is supposed to be the one reassuring you that you’re gorgeous and awesome but if she’s the one who needs constant reassurance, it can make you feel even more insecure and upset. But some moms do change. Jessica, 17, says that after her parents’ divorce, her mom was a total cougar. "She started dressing younger than she was and went through younger boyfriends like crazy," Jessica says. "I felt like her new life was more important to her than I was. But one day when she came out wearing a fishnet tube top and super-short shorts with three-inch heels, I flat out told her, ‘Mom, you look like a hooker.’ She treated it like a huge wake-up call, and it got us talking. I told her I understood it was hard to be single, but that she’d changed too much from the mom I could depend on, and that I missed her. Soon after that, everything changed: She broke up with her boyfriend, got a job, started acting her age, and made me a priority." Jessica says her mom is now showing her that she’s worthy of being trusted and looked up to. So maybe the secret to getting your mom to understand you is to try to understand her. Show her that you accept and love her without judgment and without any makeup, extensions, or that miniskirt you just know she borrowed from your closet.

Get Your Mom Back!

Here are the keys to having a great relationship with your mom no matter what. Step 1 Have girl time: Instead of screaming at your mom or avoiding her altogether, ask her to set aside 20 minutes for the two of you this weekend to go for a walk or for coffee or just to sit down in your living room. Step 2 Tell her what you need. Say: "When you act like this [tell her specifically what she does that upsets you], it makes me feel uncomfortable." Remind her that you need and love her. That will make her more open to your feelings, and less likely to feel defensive. Step 3 Don’t give up. If you don’t feel like you’re getting through to her, talk to someone else. You may feel embarrassed or protective of your mom, and not want to make her seem like a bad parent. But in the end, any mom-daughter relationship will be stronger and more genuine if you deal with your frustrations instead of ignoring them or resenting her. By Dan Koday

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Have you ever felt magic with a man?

Like when the connection you and a guy share is so strong that something inside you just tells you’ve got something real and special.

That connection and chemistry is almost impossible to describe to someone who doesn’t have it, but it’s even more impossible to ignore when you’ve got it.

Even if you know the guy isn’t the right kind of guy to be wanting to settle down with.

You can’t stop thinking about the man and the connection – it’s like a spell over the both of you.

Infatuation, crushes, connections, chemistry or even the L word.

That’s right, LOVE.

At one time or another, one of these have had almost magical powers over you that make you see, feel and act in ways you never would have before.

Well, believe it or not, there’s other magic waiting for you beyond connections or chemistry when it comes to men, dating and relationships.

The best part is that you’ve got your very own kind of magic up your sleeve that you can tap into whenever you want and use it for your own immediate benefit.

What kind of magic and what kind of benefits you ask?

Using this magic could mean the difference between finding out any major issues a guy has before they become a real problem OR getting your heart broken and never have seen it coming.

Let me ask you…

Have you ever been with a guy and he seemed to have it all together?

He was caring, loving, generous, present and aware and you had such an amazing time together.

But then some of his issues popped up out of NOWHERE.

Maybe his issues were some of the dreaded and common ones we predictable and difficult men go through like these:

- He started getting restless and he talked about how he wasn’t really ready to settle down.

- He didn’t see things getting as serious as you did.

- The connection started fading. He didn’t try to connect to you much anymore and share his intimate feelings.

- You weren’t a priority. He wanted to spend his time with his friends or other people and didn’t value the time you spent together like you did.

- He started flirting, talking to or even getting together with other women even if he wasn’t technically cheating.

Recognize any of these?

What’s going on here?

Here’s where your magic comes in.

(When I say magic in this case, I mean something that will give you perception and insights into situations before and while they’re happening)

OK, you might already be thinking,

Has he lost it?

What in the world is he talking about MAGIC for?

Who believes in that stuff anyways?

I’m with you there…

The magic I’m talking about here isn’t that far out stuff about conjuring up spells or changing into an animal.

Let’s leave that kind of magic to Harry Potter and your imagination.

The magic I’m talking about is different and exists in the real world, but it’s just as amazing.

And it centers around an important idea-

*You instinctively know more about what’s going on in the world around you than you or your conscious mind fully recognizes.

Wow, getting pretty heavy here.

Don’t worry… I’ll bring this back down to earth and land the plane quickly. And that’s where this will get fascinating…

Here’s the kicker-

You ALREADY HAVE this magical ability.

All you have to do is tune into it.

Easier said than done, right. So how does that work?

This magic is something that comes pre-wired in your brain because of the way your consciousness and your subconscious mind is hooked up to the rest of your complex body systems and senses.

So the good news is that this ability is there for you anytime you want to use it.

But the bad news is that you have to take time to fully tune into it and recognize your ability. Kind of like a practice.

Music is a good analogy for this – You can’t just pick up an instrument and start playing, right?

But once you start to become more aware of the instrument, the music and how to play, things start to naturally fall into place.

Sounds, melodies and rhythms just start to flow out of you while you’re in the moment.

It’s like they appear out of thin air and nothing could feel more natural. And your mind is able to process all the information coming at it and use it to anticipate what’s next.

Well, this is EXACTLY what this magical ability of yours is like.

Your mind is constantly picking up on information from your environment, even when you’re not really conscious of it.

And all that information is being processed over and over to try and calculate the risk, danger, and expectations from your environment to try to find a way towards the outcome you want.

So let’s get to it. What is this magical ability?

And why am I talking about it?

Well, I’ll start with what the ability is…

**INTUITION**

You’re probably already familiar with the word.

But stop right there…

When you hear the term intuition, it’s easy to attach all of your previous feelings and beliefs about it and dismiss it as some kind of new age flaky stuff.

I hear you, but indulge me here by keeping an open mind for a few minutes- I’ll make it worth your while.

How?

Well, to put it simply, you’d be cheating yourself by not spending the couple of minutes or so that it takes to open your mind to the natural power of your intuition and how to tune into it.

And that couple of minutes could help you solve some of the age-old challenges women have about knowing and understanding what’s really inside a man’s heart and mind.

I mean, it’s not like men make it very easy for women, right?

I don’t have to tell you, but MEN ARE BAD COMMUNICATORS when it comes to their feelings, emotions and intentions around love and relationships.

So knowing that men are often this way, you have a choice here:

You can either do nothing about it and continue to be shocked, frustrated, surprised and hurt by the things you find out about men after the fact.

Or…

You can start to create a more perceptive and insightful way of being in your own life and relationships by using more the natural intuitive abilities you already have.

Which one will it be?

Cool… so you’re ready to tune into your own intuitive ability.

Good call – let’s get rolling.

Using Your Intuition With Men And Dating

Using your intuition might be the best, and in some situations the ONLY, way that you’ll be able to see through all the external behavior stuff going on with a man and get to the truth of what’s really happening inside his mind and what his behavior is when you’re not around.

Like when a man plays hard to get, or he doesn’t call you much or initiate, or when a man gets close and then withdraws from you right after.

Why do men do this?

For each one of these I’ve got some interesting insights and theories that can help.

But…

From my perspective, there are some extremely important concepts that you need to understand before you can really get where a man is coming from or understand what his behaviors and issues are all about.

First, you need to build your foundation of understanding and make sure your own personal belief systems aren’t all mixed up. If they are, there’s no way for you to see the real cause and effect around you.

You’ll just see what your mind is fearful and afraid of, and it will only pick out and see what it knows from the past.

Which is usually is a result of a few things you’ve experienced before.

Including good relationships, bad relationships, pain, broken trust, destructive behaviors, etc…

Humans learn in all kind of fascinating ways, but not all of them produce decisions and conclusions that reflect the reality of what’s actually going on.

That’s why I find belief systems so fascinating. Our minds basically act as giant pattern recognition machines – which can either lead us to right or wrong conclusions and ways of perceiving our environment.

But let’s bring this back down to earth…

Do you know anyone women close to you who’ve had difficult relationships in the past?

And now they often have unfounded and negative fears about any man around them?

Their past experiences have had a huge impact on their personal beliefs and how they see themselves and the world.

Anyways, before I get even more off on a tangent-

I’ve got to get on with it, so I’ll need to give you abridged version. In other words, the very shortest route to get away from counterproductive thoughts and beliefs you might already have and onto positive results.

Here are some of the most important concepts you’ll need to keep in your mind as you move towards listening to and using your intuition with men:

1. Men Don’t Make Sense

All those frustrating things that men do that don’t make any sense to you as a woman will NEVER MAKE SENSE. Stop trying to make sense of them for yourself. Trying to make sense of a man in your own terms is entirely counterproductive and gets little or no results other than you becoming increasingly frustrated.

There’s a better way.

2. You Can’t Figure Everything Out

Have you ever REALLY hit it off with a guy but after a few weeks or months, even though things seemed great, the man pulled away and starting acting distant and cold?

Most men, at one time or another, do things like this that are ridiculous and impossible to figure out. So EXPECT to NOT UNDERSTAND everything a man does. If you can become more comfortable with the idea of not knowing everything about WHY a man does what he does, then you’ll feel a strange sense of calm relaxation – along with an increase in your own self-confidence.

I’m not saying that it’s OK for a man to do whatever and that you should accept any negative and withdrawing behaviors without bringing it up and confronting it.

You absolutely should take notice and make mention of these things when you see them.

But the more relaxed and positive you can think and feel around these things, no matter what the man is doing, the sooner you’ll stop fighting everything in your mind and start creating better situations for yourself.

It’s frustrating and counterintuitive, but accepting what’s going on and moving forward from that reality in a positive way changes the whole frame of the situation.

But some women get stuck in the I need to understand why he does this and THEN I’ll figure out what to do, think and feel mindset.

This almost never leads to clear thinking and positive action. Remember, men don’t make any sense. So don’t depend on their actions making sense for you to develop your own opinions, judgments and next steps.

Pay attention to your gut, what you want in your life and what you know is right instead of rationalizing and finding a way for it to all fit together and be OK.

3. Ask Yourself Questions, Be Patient And Your Intuition Will Talk

Your intuition talks to you through feelings, images, and bodily sensations such as gut feelings. Learn to pay attention to what these are trying to tell you and what’s going on when they pop up in your mind.

Maybe you’re being more open and relaxed when those intuitive gut feelings come to you – so try to get back to that place more often. This way you’ll end up being able to tap into your intuition more often when you need it.

If you don’t think you have a strong intuitive sense, simply try asking yourself more questions and keep them mulling around in your mind.

When you’ve got something in the back of your mind, something amazing happens without you even trying.

Your brain takes notice and uses all your senses to find any sign or trace of information that relates to your questions as you go about your day.

It’s kind of like a search running in the background on your computer – even though you’re doing something else it doesn’t stop looking.

After you’ve asked your questions, your mind will start sending you ideas, feelings and images without you even thinking about it. But sometimes this takes more time than you’d like.

Finally, your intuitive voice will eventually just pop up and start to give you hints and information without you even asking for it. And then it’s up to you to pay attention, acknowledge it and make good use of it.

4. Think Positive – Don’t Fill Your Mind With Fear And Doubt

Some women end up worrying almost obsessively that something is wrong or going badly with a guy they’re interested in or dating once they see some negative sign or pattern.

And once this happens, they want to know what’s going on so intently that they start letting their negative and obsessive thoughts take over.

If you want to be able to use your intuition, you need to start interrupting that voice in your head that’s the fear-monger.

You know the one – that voice that’s always worrying just to try and keep you safe and protected.

The thing is, you can’t find the truth in a situation if you if your mind is buried in your fears and doubts.

Just like how overly arrogant people can be misled by their false sense of belief in themselves.

Keep a balanced and objective mindset.

5. Start With Smaller, Less Important Questions For Your Intuition To Answer

If your new to using your intuition or you’re concerned with if or how to act on it, start with smaller things that might be less important – like whether or not you should go away for the weekend or if your friend will like the gift you’ve been thinking about for them.

That way, you can be practicing and learn to use your intuition without doing it in high-risk or high-pressure situations. This will help you develop your abilities and become more comfortable to trust what you find with your intuition.

6. Act On Your Intuition With The Long-Term In Mind

Years ago I had a huge learning experience when it came to using and listening to my intuition in the right way.

The situation came up when I was worried that a few people I worked with, who were my managers at the time, we’re talking about me and scrutinizing my work more closely than they had before.

Feeling and sensing the scrutiny, I immediately felt worried about my job and wondered if they were thinking about letting me go.

The company had laid off several employees a few months before, so I began to think that their extra attention to my work must have something to do with another round of cost-cutting.

Anyways, aside from my own professional insecurities at the time, my gut told me that something bad was coming.

So what should I do?

I was really worried.

I decided to push myself even harder at work to try and show them how valuable I was in hopes that I would keep my job. But that uncomfortable and nervous feeling in my stomach that came with my intuition about their scrutiny of my work stayed with me for the next several weeks.

Well, it turns out that my managers were watching me and judging my performance. But it wasn’t for the reasons I feared.

A few weeks later I was called into a meeting with the managers who had been watching me closely.

Walking down the hall to the meeting, I had a lump in my throat and a turning stomach.

My intuition was leading me to the conclusion that this was it – I was getting fired for the first time in my life.

I couldn’t believe it.

So I walked into the meeting feelings anxious, defensive and tense.

As I sat down, one of my managers could immediately sense my discomfort and asked me what was wrong.

Without provocation, I immediately started defending my job and showing my insecurities.

My emotions got the best of me and I even said a few negative things about the managers themselves, as I wanted to place what I saw as equal blame on the managers for the companies problems.

They quickly stopped me once I started into these issues.

Then they let me know that they had been watching my performance because they wanted to put me in charge of a new division. They wanted to be confident in their decision so they paid extra attention to my work to be sure – and now they were.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief and my mood completely changed.

End of story.

Thinking back, my intuition had alerted me so that I’d be aware of what was going on.

But the mistake I made was taking that information and using it to justify my own fears and insecurities.

If I would have taken the information, been patient with it and applied it towards my goals in a positive context, then the entire experience knowing that the managers were watching my work would have been fun and enjoyable.

But I didn’t use my intuition to see my way to something better, I simply used it as a means to worry and stress myself out.

So all this talk about intuition.

How does it really apply to the men in your life, dating and relationships?

Well, take a man with some of those common negative behaviors we were talking about earlier-

- fear of intimacy
- inability to commit
- flirting, cheating

Intuition can help you see past these things and understand them in the larger context of the deeper real psychological and emotional stuff that’s hiding beneath the surface.

Your intuition could even help you cut through a man’s ego and persona to get to the real person that’s hard to find.

I bet you’ve known a man who other women think would never settle down or have a sensitive side. But you’ve seen that this actually does have more long term intimate feelings and emotional attachments buried underneath.

Intuition is probably the best tool for being able to identify good and bad qualities in a man – and knowing them for what they are.

A man’s external or surface behavior and attitude can be very different than his deeper desires and intentions – as you probably already know.

Some men are, unfortunately, just good at playing the part of an emotionally stable, available and loving guy for a while, even if they aren’t.

So it’s really up to YOU to learn to get to the deeper emotional truth of any man you’re interested in or dating.

And yeah, I know men can be sooo frustrating for women.

In a better world, men would be able to tell you honestly and sincerely where they were at.

But as you know, MEN SUCK sometimes.

They can be HORRIBLY out of touch when it comes to feelings and emotions.

So if you’re constantly surprised, blind-sided or confused by what people around you do, (most of all men) then it’s time to get in touch with the amazing intuitive ability you have waiting for you.

To take your intuition to the next level – the more you already know the better.

For some of the best knowledge out there on what’s inside a man’s mind, how to identify good men (or the wrong guys), and to read more about the common behaviors most men have when they’re either smitten with a woman or desperately unable to get it together, then check out my ebook Catch Him And Keep Him.

You can check out all the details here:

Thanks for reading and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

I’d like to tell you a story…

It’s a story that you might find strangely familiar. Don’t be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a woman who was very attracted to a particular man.

At first, he was just another attractive man… but the more she got to know him, the more she began to feel attracted to him… and the more time she spent with him, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for him.

But there was one problem.

As her emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, she also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because she couldn’t tell whether or not he felt the same way towards her.

Sometimes he would talk to her and say things that led her to believe that they shared a special connection, but nothing ever progressed past the friendship stage.

There was an occasional glance, an occasional email or call from him… and a few times, he even opened up about something personal or emotional, and invited her inside for a little while.

But something was wrong with the picture.

He just wasn’t acting like a man who was falling in love. He was acting like a friend, but at times, even more distant than a friend would be.

And things seemed to be hot and cold. Sometimes he would look at her and talk to her, and sometimes he would ignore her and close himself off.

The insecurity that she felt from all this, became a spiral that amplified itself… and the more insecure she became, the more afraid she grew of screwing things up or scaring him off, by starting conversations or asking him if he was interested in her and why he didn’t ask her out.

Plus, the more insecure she became, the less time he seemed to want to spend with her.

After spending days and nights obsessing over this guy, the woman finally arrived at the conclusion that if he only knew how SHE FELT, that he would feel the same way.

So she made a bold move.

She TOLD HIM how she felt.

She confessed her feelings and let him know that she wanted to be with him.

He responded by flirting with her and he spent some time alone with her, and they even kissed and held each other.

But soon after, he quickly withdrew, didn’t call her and wasn’t really available to her.

This only confused the woman more.

She didn’t know how to take it…

Did it mean that he really loved her too, but that he was afraid of something?

Did it mean that he wasn’t ready for a long-term relationship?

Did it mean that he didn’t love her, and that he was trying to give her a hint?

Did it mean that she hadn’t tried hard enough?

Did it mean that she needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let him know how she felt?

She finally decided that she couldn’t go on like this anymore… she had to be with him.

She had to make sure that he knew just how much she wanted to be with him… so she took a big step, bought him a symbolic gift and wrote him a letter… again confessing her feelings.

And then, something unthinkable happened.

Either he didn’t reply at all… (Ouch!)

Or he replied and she connected with him on an emotional and physical level for a brief time, but then he backed away.

Then she called him a couple of times, the following week before reaching him.

He made an excuse about being very busy and said, I’ll try to give you a call soon, I have to go… and hung up… but she never got a call back.

Over the following months, the woman tried desperately to understand what went wrong… and what happened.

THE END…

OK, I’m back.

Now, wasn’t that a sweet story?

Heartwarming, huh?

I know; I should keep my day job, and not take-up writing romance novels…

Now, let’s talk about that story.

That story is basically a MYTH.

But I’m not talking about FICTION here.

I’m talking about a story that rings true for lots of women. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates at a deep level, because you can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate for some women?

Because lots of women have been there in one way or another… at one time or another… and many have been there OFTEN in their lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story a lot of power, is the powerful negative emotions that it stirs… as a result of the powerful negative experiences that it brings back…

Stories and situations like this one, really FASCINATE me.

They fascinate me, because I see them as an opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.

In this particular situation, I think there is a solution.

It lies in understanding a SECRET that lots of WOMEN DON’T GET.

That secret comes down to the reality that if a man isn’t ATTRACTED to a woman, all of her attempts to confess her love, convince him to like her and court her, BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON’T WORK; they actually make things WORSE.

In other words, the very things that a woman does to try to make a man LIKE HER, make him NOT like her.

They make him run.

All of those great intentions and emotional dedication actually cause the woman feeling them, to do things that make the man go away.

It sucks!

But it’s a strangely common dynamic, that also takes place inside dating situations and new relationships without women (or men) really being aware of it, and understanding what’s going on.

And I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens to you, that I’ll help you avoid this painful situation in your own future…

And maybe you can start to understand what’s going on a little better, if you think about what it’s like when a man you’re NOT attracted to, desperately wants your attention, affection and your time.

Have you ever had a guy pursue you?

As he’s trying to get your attention, approval and affection, all of his pleading and effort just seems to bug you more and make you want to get away.

Even if all he’s doing, is telling you great things about yourself and how he feels about you?

Strange and interesting…

Choices And The Paradox Of Attraction

I’m always fascinated by the idea that we humans don’t always understand the message that we’re communicating to others…

So often we think that because we WANT to communicate a message, that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we’re trying to say.

Have you ever seen a woman who dresses over-the-top sexy and wears way to much make-up?

Have you ever thought to yourself, I don’t think that her appearance is communicating the message to men that she thinks it is…?

Yeah, I have too.

Well, here’s the deal:

If you do something to let a man know how you feel … but he isn’t open to the situation at that time, or he isn’t ATTRACTED to you, then it’s going to backfire.

It’s going to trigger a feeling for the man, that I like to call the Instant Ewww.

The Instant Ewww is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a man feels it, YOU’RE DONE.

It’s over.

It’s like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.

Once a man feels the Instant Ewww, he’ll start behaving differently.

In short, he’ll back off or even disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the Instant Ewww?

I got it from watching WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word Ewww, when describing how they felt about a guy that was confessing his love… and of course, these were guys that weren’t loved in return by the woman.

Men do the same kind of thing with a woman they’re not attracted to.

Often they try to be nice about it. They let the attention pump up their ego a bit, and then they create what is often an unconscious barrier in their mind, that closes off communication or contact with her.

And the resulting vacuum sound you hear, is what’s happening as any ATTRACTION and interest he might have felt, evaporates.

So what causes the Instant Ewww?

And why would a man feel it, towards a woman who was trying to be nice… a woman who was giving him attention, a gift or telling him how she feels?

Because if you think about it from HIS perspective, you’ll realize that the moment you do something to confess, you’ve created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, men know when they are getting some special attention from a woman.

And they usually know it from the beginning.

But now that you’ve started pursuing him and talking about how you feel, you’ve created a NEGATIVE TENSION that can be VERY uncomfortable.

You’ve triggered an emotion that can actually repel a man and make him even more detached from his emotions.

Here’s the thing…

You can’t make a man like you or change how he feels about you, by doing nice things for him.

Doing nice things for a man who isn’t attracted to you, HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the Instant Ewww feeling, that makes it so he’ll perhaps NEVER like you.

Men are the worst at this, by the way.

They make this mistake over and over again in life, because they’re doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They’re doing it, because they don’t have an understanding of ATTRACTION.

I mean, if you have a friend and you like them, and you want to make them like you more… and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more.

On the other hand…

If you have a man that you like in a romantic way, and he doesn’t feel it for you, and you do something nice for him, because you want HIM to like you more, it will BACKFIRE… and he will not only NOT like you more, but he will most likely distance himself from you.

Women think that they need to communicate verbally when they like a man… as if that’s part of the necessary process of getting a guy.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like him>Tell him you like him>He likes you

Well, remember… if you follow this pattern, yourself, with men who aren’t already ATTRACTED to you, then it’s going to BACKFIRE.

If he’s not into you, then it goes like THIS:

He thinks of you as a friend>You tell him you like him>He gets the Instant Ewwws and withdraws…

THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer, is what to do if you’re in a situation where you like a particular guy, but you don’t know if he likes you back.

DON’T GET HEAVY WITH HIM.

Don’t buy him a big gift, do something nice to show him how much you think about him or write him a love letter…

Don’t send him a note to his work that says, From your secret admirer.

Don’t call him several times, without hearing from him.

And DON’T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for him.

If you want to know how he feels about you, do something to ATTRACT HIM and see how he reacts instead of telling him you love him and hearing the crickets chirp as you wait for his response.

As a rule of thumb, don’t get heavier than HIM. Use SIGNALS from him to find out how he feels… and if you don’t know how to read and create those signals, then LEARN.

Asking a man if he’s interested in you in a romantic way, or if you are his type, will actually DESTROY the chances that his attraction and interest in you will grow.

Really.

The SECOND answer, is to not get into this particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why men have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.

One does that by knowing what you’re doing FROM THE BEGINNING.

And what’s the best way to learn THAT skill?

I thought you’d never ask…

Well, I’ve written about attraction before and I’ll write about it again.

In my eBook, I talk about some of the very best ways to learn how to make man feel ATTRACTION for you.

But above and beyond the meeting and attracting men stuff, I also talk about how attraction, communication, psychology and emotions all play into the longer term stuff around dating, and creating a solid foundation for a future relationship.

In my eBook, I go deep inside the mind of a man to tell you the secrets and truths that lots of women will never know about.

The eBook is called Catch Him And Keep Him.

I’ve spent several years now, studying the ways that women (and men) who are naturals, communicate using their words, voice tone and body language.

The way they integrate all these, makes them MAGNETIC to be around. And you probably know what I’m talking about, if you know any women who seem lucky in love. Where everything involving men seems to come easily and effortlessly to them.

And I’ll tell you… it’s not magic.

You don’t have to be gorgeous or young.

And you don’t have to be LUCKY.

What you DO have to do is LEARN.

It’s a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY woman can learn it if she wants.

But you’re not likely to figure it out by trial and error. Many of the keys to making men feel ATTRACTION and want to be around you for the long-term aren’t obvious, at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense… and they’re the LAST thing you’d do in a particular situation, if you didn’t know the SECRETS.

For more about these secrets, go check out my eBook.

It’s jam-packed with insights, concepts, tips and secrets.

Go here to check it out:

Thanks and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

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The Secret Cause Of Distance In Relationships Hey there, I’m about to share a secret with you about men that most women will go their entire love lives never seeing or understanding. Here’s why it’s critical that you find out about this secret RIGHT NOW… This one simple but powerful insight could mean the difference between you becoming truly close, connected and committed with a man, in the kind of way where you TRULY know him. Or… Experiencing the disconnection and withdrawal that often comes from a man’s fear of losing his freedom or being overwhelmed by intimacy in a relationship with a woman, who DOESN’T know about this secret. The truth is, it doesn’t have to be so difficult when it comes to a lasting relationship with a man. Keep reading to learn a powerful insight most women will never come across to turn the common resistance in relationships with men from an obstacle to a point of growth and connection. Oh, and here’s something else you’re going to get from this insight that will DRAMATICALLY change things in your love life for the better… What you’re about to learn will not only help you understand what’s REALLY going on in a man’s mind… since, as you know, men can often not share much or make it feel very easy to share… But… it can also have the rare and desirable quality of actually helping a man to understand YOU more. Wouldn’t that be a breath of fresh air? If you haven’t read between the lines yet, I’m talking about a RELATIONSHIP SKILL that’s CRITICAL for you to learn if you want a lasting relationship with a man. Stop repeating the same old patterns, that you know from experience, have only lead to heartbreak, disappointment or wasted energy. It’s time for change. It’s time to do things differently. It’s time to have what you want in love. It’s time to find and use WHAT ACTUALLY WORKS in relationships with men. THE POWER OF YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT MEN AND RELATIONSHIPS There’s something FASCINATING that I’ve realized is a common source of pain and frustration for lots of women in relationships with men… and I want to share it with you. Something that can create a subtle but powerful and lasting DISTANCE between a woman and a man. Something that even happens for women who would consider themselves good communicators. Something that brings about the very situations that most women are looking to avoid in a relationship – such as disconnection, withdrawal and a lack of intimacy. What I’m talking about here are our BELIEFS. But how are BELIEFS important when it comes to dating and relationships with men? Well, beliefs have a VERY POWERFUL EFFECT on everything we think and do. You’re not always conscious of it, but your beliefs color your entire perception of what’s happening around you. You just don’t see it happening because your mind does it so quick and perfectly. Everything you see and experience is run through your own set of beliefs, and these help shape a set of meanings, feelings and emotions. So, in a sense, what you think and feel is largely driven by your beliefs. Here’s where all this gets FASCINATING… What if you have an overly negative belief? And what if you have a belief based on fear or loss? And what if you have a belief that’s just plain WRONG? The PAINFUL TRUTH is that, if you’re like lots of women who’ve been hurt in relationships, then you probably have your own set of beliefs about men, relationships and about yourself in relationships. And, like it or not, some of these beliefs are most likely shaping negative, limiting or even SELF-DESTRUCTIVE experiences in your life. Of course, men have these kind of beliefs too, and these beliefs subtly drive parts of their thinking and behavior. Here’s a great example… Tell me… would a healthy, loving, committed relationship with a woman really take away a man’s freedom? Of course not. Believe it or not, men are smart enough to know this when they have a great woman in their life. But then, why do so many men still believe this to be true anyway, and act it out in their relationships through non-committal or withdrawing behavior? Here’s the strange part about WHY… It’s not a man’s logical or rational mind that’s completely in control here. It’s the man’s SUBCONSCIOUS BELIEF that a woman and a relationship will take away his freedom. Note that I said SUBCONSCIOUS BELIEF here… Which means that even if you called a man out about this belief in his mind, it doesn’t mean that he’d be able to see what you’re talking about, let alone understand it for himself. Follow me here? In fact, a man would probably say you were making up psycho-babble and not hear you at all. But here’s the point… Men and women both have important and powerful beliefs about the other sex and relationships, rooted deep in their minds. So… Do you know YOUR beliefs? And do you know how to find out what a man’s beliefs are? Knowing this you won’t fall into common deadly relationship traps other women come up against again and again with men and can NEVER get the clarity that they’re after. IDENTIFYING YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS AND THE COMMON SITUATIONS WITH MEN THAT CREATE THEM After years of research, study and observation, I’ve found several of the common false or limiting beliefs that keep women from loving and having lasting relationships with men. Of course, I’ve also found common limiting beliefs that men have – ones that seem to, in situation after situation, make it difficult for them to be in committed relationships. But let’s start by talking about the most important person here… YOU. Let me ask you an important question… Have you ever wondered if there’s something you’re just plain missing about men in general? That when it comes to how men think, feel and behave in relationships, they’re really all messed up and strange? Here’s something I’ve learned from women about what’s really puzzling about a man… How can a man be so open, generous, loving and caring early on and at various times in a relationship, but then act like you aren’t the same two people who share so much when things go wrong? I’ve seen this myself, and I’ve heard it from TONS of women who’ve I’ve met, spoken to, worked with and received emails from online. In fact, to be honest, I’ve even been that guy myself in the past. The reality is that a man can go from caring, protective, complimentary, and emotionally engaged with a woman, and then suddenly become distant, cold or uninterested. All as though he was never even emotionally involved in the first place. Know what I’m talking about here? Give me a silent nod if you’ve experienced this kind of thing with a man before. Sucks, right? When it happened, you probably felt, on some level, like you’d NEVER understand what in the world is going on with men. And… You probably felt like you’d NEVER MEET A MAN who was different and who would UNDERSTAND YOU. Let alone get how love and relationships work in YOUR WORLD. Sound or feel familiar? Ok, now guess what these thoughts and feelings are? That’s right.. these are the BELIEFS that you’ve picked up from your past experiences with men. And guess what else? They’re not very helpful to you. In fact, they’re actually COUNTERPRODUCTIVE when you’re wanting to have an open, connected, loving relationship with a man. They also create distance between you and a man – distance that most women never know they’re creating themselves. But don’t worry… you’re not strange, messed up or weird. We’ve all been there. You most likely took on these self-defeating beliefs to try and deal with the pain you felt, and to help make sense of it all. There’s a direct link between pain and awareness. And when you experience pain, it’s a natural reaction of the mind and body to lessen your awareness, in an effort to help numb the pain. But here’s what you need to know RIGHT NOW… If you don’t start to look for and become aware of your own Limiting Beliefs, then they’ll just keep holding you back from ever finding what you want. The strange thing is, for some reason, lots of people like to hold on to their false and Limiting Beliefs – regardless of how damaging they are. I like to think of these kind of beliefs as a SECRET EXCUSE. We each have one, or more, Secret Excuses that we make up to comfort and protect ourselves from the things that hurt or disappoint us about our lives or ourselves. But here’s the reality… Your Secret Excuse is getting in your way. Your Secret Excuse is keeping you at a distance from men, or that one special man, in your life. Your Secret Excuse is actually taking the new things that are coming into your life and painting them over with a dark negative tint. Let me give you a few of my favorite Secret Excuses that I hear from women all the time when it comes to men… Men can’t have real relationships. There are no good guys out there. All men cheat. Or, how about some of the hopeless ones… Even if I find a great guy, he won’t end up truly loving me… and it won’t last. I never get back what I put in when it comes to relationships. I give up. Or, there are the martyr beliefs… I’m just not meant to have true love in my life – and all these past heartbreaks and failed situations are PROOF. There’s something wrong with me as a woman, and I won’t be able to fix it, so I’ll give up on finding real love in my life. And then there’s the single most popular and common limiting and self-defeating belief out there… It’s so subtle and pervasive that some women pass it around to each other daily, without even noticing how negatively it effects them - Men are jerks. If you don’t understand how destructive this can be, imagine this… What do you think would be going on for a man if he had repeatedly said that he thought women were all hysterical? Or how about, Women are all bitchy? Not a very healthy outlook on women and relationships here, right? Not the kind of guy you want to make a go of it with… right? Lots of baggage to overcome. Or maybe worse… Lots of deeply rooted personal BELIEFS to break down before a man would ever actually SEE YOU for who YOU are and be present with you. Translation – lots of emotional distance and a severe lack of understanding and intimacy. PUTTING YOUR NEW AWARENESS OF LIMITING BELIEFS TO WORK IN YOUR LOVE LIFE So, now that you’ve got this new education about BELIEFS, how they work, and their power, what can you do to improve your situation RIGHT NOW? What can actually create positive change and growth in the real-world you live in? In other words… Ideas are good. But RESULTS are better. The very first step is to take the time to pay attention to your own voice. You know… that one that’s in your head that goes off and screams loudly inside when bad things happen with a man. And yeah, I bet this voice isn’t the thing you want to try and get close to in your life right now. But the sooner you figure out why it’s there and what’s behind it, the sooner you can make a positive change for the better. Here’s something simple but profound. (My favorite kind of concept!) The more aware you become about something, the more power you have to change it. But you can’t work with something that you haven’t put your finger on and identified for yourself. So start by working to pay more attention to the things you DON’T LIKE, or that BOTHER YOU about men or relationships. Maybe it’s that thing that has somehow happened to you again and again with men, even though you promised yourself you’d never let that kind of thing into your life again. Yeah, I know… Yikes! I’m asking you to look at that crap? You’re probably thinking that you finally got away from it. Well, I’m not asking you to go there because I’m sick and twisted. (not much anyway…lol) I don’t want things to be tougher than they have to be for you to find and create the love and fulfillment you deserve. No… it’s because I want you to be able to move past the things that are holding you back by pushing them out from the place where they subtly undermine you. I call this lighting the dark spots. These dark spots are where we don’t often like to look and are the places that we hide things from ourselves that we don’t like when we see them. But these places, as scary as they might seem, are the source of our Limiting Beliefs. So, when we can bring these things into our consciousness and awareness, we gain positive power over them. Of course, it also really helps to have experience and guidance when you start off in new areas. Finding the right information can save you literally years or decades of time and wasted energy. And that’s where you’re really in luck… I’ve literally spent years helping women avoid the pain and frustration of destructive and limiting beliefs. In fact, I’ve been able to save thousands of women from the wasted time and energy of trying HARDER and HARDER in their relationships and getting LESS and LESS back. Partly by just clearing up some of the critical misunderstandings and frustrations that come from limiting beliefs. But also, by explaining the importance of knowing EXACTLY what to do in each of the critical situations that come up with men while dating and in relationships. There are crucial resistance points with men and dating… and if a woman doesn’t know about these, it’s HIGHLY likely that she’ll trip over them and end up with the common and dreaded emotionally distant and non-committal man. Don’t end up there, with no idea of how to change things – without the drama and resistance – on how “talks” can go for lots of women with men. Here’s the good news… A few years ago, I finally decided to take all my very best ideas, concepts and strategies that I’d used to help women in the REAL WORLD, and put it all together in one single COMPLETE REFERENCE GUIDE. What came together was an in-depth guide to what’s really going on inside the mind of a man. A guide that any woman could quickly and easily use to transform her love life – as a single woman OR inside her existing relationship. My ebook, Catch Him And Keep Him is quite possibly the world’s best single guide book for women when it comes to the male mind, dating, attraction and LASTING RELATIONSHIPS. But don’t take my word for it… I’ve included a few recent emails I got in my inbox from women who have read my book. See what they have to say for yourself. You can find their emails a little further below. Or, if you want, you can download my ebook right now and be reading it in literally a minute or two. I’m SO ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT that you’re going to get TONS and TONS of real and lasting change, growth, and benefits in your love life from my book that I’m going to make you a special promise. I’ll let you try my ebook FREE to see if you like it. That’s right… I’m 110% sure it will bring amazing change into your life with men, dating and relationships. Although, I won’t lie – it’s not going to download itself and jump into your brain all on it’s own… You actually do have to read it and work with the material – and I can’t do that for you. But what better investment could you make that promises to bring you more connection, love and fulfillment in your relationship? What would that be worth? Do yourself a free favor right now and download my ebook for a free trial. There’s NOTHING to lose, and everything to gain. If you don’t like the book for ANY reason, all you have to do is email me to let me know and you’ll pay nothing. ZERO. No questions asked. Period. You don’t even have to try and come up with a good excuse. Don’t waste any more time waiting for the love life you want to find you or for him to be the one to make it happen for you. It’s time to take the love that you know is possible in your life… into your own hands… Go here now: Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download Best of luck in life and love and I’ll talk to you again soon. Your Friend, Christian Carter REAL EMAILS FROM ACTUAL READERS OF MY EBOOK Christian, I first want to start off by thanking you. I read your book front to cover in three days and it may just be the most powerful and inspirational tool i have ever encountered! You truly opened up my eyes to a completely new way of dealing with men and helped me see what it was that I was doing wrong. I also read, “He’s Just Not That Into You” before i read “Catch Him and Keep Him.” I must say, although it was a good book, i strongly believe that yours was much more informative on an objective level. You explain it in a way that doesn’t criticize or put women down. Instead you literally show us how we can make some changes in the way we perceive situations with men. Your book was a much more constructive learning tool for me. Thank you! D.B. ————————————————– Christian, I hope this e-mail will get to you. I bought and paid for your book this week. I also read the entire book because it is a fast read. I just wanted to tell you that you are utterly amazing – you have your head on straight, and I totally agree with your viewpoint on the male/female dynamics. I am recently divorced after being previously widowed, so I know what a good marriage and relationship consists of based on the first marriage. At this juncture, I needed some reassurance, and your book really reconfirmed the viewpoint that I already had– that being an independent, self-assured woman is a win for the woman, and a win for a relationship. I’ve recently gone on 3 dates with someone I like. On the last date, I was kind of disappointed that he didn’t make sexual advances. Based on reading your book, I am honored. Thanks for that enlightenment. Alice C. ————————————————- Hi Christian! I have to tell you, this book, along with several other key events, has changed my life!!! In the past week, I’ve been contacting old boyfriends and forgiving them, apologizing, sending love to them and really meaning it! I am able to stop being a victim of circumstance and start taking responsibility for creating everything I want and deserve. It’s all about loving and forgiving myself. I was seeking approval and a whole slew of other disgusting behaviors. I just didn’t get it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! I’m going to tell all of my single friends about this web site and book~! Julie ————————————————- Subject: Success story Hi Christian! This email is about a success story, but not mine – yours! Your story (ebook) is a true success! I am glad I had the guts to write my Visa-card no and order your book, I hope U won’t sell it to criminals in the future…. I had some money left on the account today so I might just trust U after all. I have just started to study at University (after working 17 years): Social psychology and communication, I have also gone to a course in Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg) and what can I say: YOUR BOOK HAS IT ALL! You have great skills in several areas and combine them in a very intelligent way. I read somewhere that you said that you’re not an author. You are! I can tell. It was the perfect language for this subject. You even put in data about scientific research in a very interesting and humorous way. Actually, you have inspired me to become a “non- author” in topics about personal development and understanding people…my vision is to become a personal coach and I think this writing thing can be something for me too. I have never had that idea before but I will continue nurturing it! Finally: THANK YOU for explaining why I have failed in earlier relationships! And also why I succeeded in some! It all seems clear now. I can’t wait to test my new skills and see where it takes me I have come so far that I know that the only person that can make me happy is me, myself and I, that is the first step right? That means I will no longer be needy and clingy, halleluja. I have a good life without a man. I hope you have come so far that you are able to feel how grateful I truly am for the opportunity to read your “instruction book”, and that I really think that you have made a great job. Put this knowledge in your heart and keep it. I don’t want to waist your time in vain, see. Best wishes, Annki from Sweden ps: Sorry for the “false” subject line….I couldn’t resist it ps2: I don’t know how many grey hairs the studies have given you, but trust me, it was worth it You will save loads of women from unnecessary pain. Hopefully loads of men as well. That gives a lot of plus points in heaven! ————————————————– Go here to get your free trial copy: Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download Copyright 2010, Catch Him Inc. All Rights Reserved. Copyright materials used by permission. Catch Him And Keep Him and Christian Carter are trademarks of Catch Him Inc.

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What
Women HATE Most About Single Guys

By David DeAngelo

And in most cases, it will eventually turn into a RANT session about how hard
it is to find good men to date…

Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about men in general…

…And wind up with a detailed list of all the traits guys have that are ANNOYING
AS HELL.

The reality is that single women have an entire laundry list of traits, qualities,
and characteristics that they HATE in single guys.

Did you know this?

I didn’t think so.

Well, the truth is that up until a few years ago, I didn’t know this either.

So take heart in the idea that you’re about to learn something that most men on
this planet will DIE not knowing.

My hope is that what I’m about to share with you will change how you interact
with women FOREVER… and help you meet and date more of the kinds of women you’re
interested in.

Onward.

FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE

For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They
are NOT the same.

One can lead to another, but it’s RARE when it happens.

Remember that.

One CAN lead to another, but it’s RARE.

“Romantic” relationships are very different from “friend” relationships.

While most men would sleep with most of their female “friends” if the woman “came
on” to them, most women would NOT sleep with most men that they consider “just
friends”.

But why is this?

How do women differentiate between “just friends” and “I’ll be intimate with you”?

And why is it so hard to become “more than friends” with a woman you’ve been “just
friends” with for a long time?

The answer to this riddle is very interesting to me.

I believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women “know” when they
want to “be intimate” with a man… and, even MORE
importantly, understanding how women “know” when they DON’T want to “be intimate”
with a man…

The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she’s with is “friend” material or
“lover” material is how she FEELS.

It’s a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.

It is NOT logic.

She might USE logic to “rationalize” her decision… or she might USE logic to
SOUND like she has a good reason for either “being with” or
“not being with” a particular guy.

But don’t let that distract you.

Logic isn’t important AT ALL in this context.

So let me say this another way.

A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS
as the basis for her “decisions” and actions with a
particular guy.

If she feels that “Ewwww Yuck!” feeling, then her “logical” conclusion will probably
not be that she wants to date the guy in question.

If she feels that “It’s Gettin’ Hot In Here” feeling, then her “logical” conclusion
will probably be that this guy is interesting and attractive, and a good “choice”
to date. At this point she’ll take ACTION on her feelings and thoughts…

It goes like this:

FEEL—>THINK—>ACT

First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT… and THEN the action.

Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an important question:

How do most guys behave around women that they’re “romantically” interested in?

And another:

What do they do to get the woman that’s the object of their desires to be with
them?

Take a few minutes to think about this. Make a list if you have paper and pen
handy.

I’m serious. I’ll wait.

Come back when you’re finished.

Now take a look at your list.

I’ll bet that almost every single thing on your list was something “external”.

In other words, your list probably contains things like “Take her to dinner” and
“Give her compliments” and “Buy her flowers” and “Call
her often”.

These are all things that demonstrate that he’s INTERESTED.

They are NOT things that trigger those emotional and physical feelings inside
of a woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.

In other words, men try to use “props” to LET A WOMAN KNOW HE’S INTERESTED…

…HOPING that when the woman sees these displays she’ll be interested in him.

Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even
remotely similar to “Attraction” and “Arousal”.

Of course, you know this.

You’ve probably done this stuff about a bazillion times. I have, too. I know what
it’s like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular woman know that I’m interested…
only to have her NOT RESPOND in a “romantic” way.

The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.

First, it’s just the plain-old wrong way to go. Telling or showing a woman that
you “like her” has no effect on how she feels about YOU.

In the moment it sure seems to make sense… “If I show her how I feel, she’ll
return the feelings”.

Duh.

Like I said, it seems like the right thing to do in the moment (when your inner
little girl has a big fat crush). But it’s not… it will have NO effect on her
feelings for you.

And second, it communicates clearly that YOU DON’T GET IT. It tips a woman off
INSTANTLY that you’re not hip to what’s going… and it
kills your chances with her.

Say what?

You mean that doing nice things for women, and trying to show how you feel can
actually HURT your chances with a woman?

Yea, it can.

Look, if you’ve been dating a woman exclusively for six months, and her birthday
comes… it’s OK to buy her a gift and tell her that you like spending time with
her.

YOU’RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP.

But if you’ve known a woman for six DAYS and you try this kind of thing, you’re
going to shoot yourself in the foot.

Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who DON’T GET IT. And if you DON’T get it,
PLUS you’re trying to compensate for the fact that
you don’t get it with gifts and compliments, then you’re REALLY screwed (or not
screwed, as the case may be).

Remember what I’m about to tell you.

Burn it into your mind.

Write it on a sticky-note and put it on your computer monitor…

SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY KNOW
WHEN A GUY DOESN’T “GET IT”… AND
THEY’RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN’T “GET IT” JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING AND
TRYING.

Keep in mind that single, attractive women watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They
shake their pretty heads and say “He doesn’t get it… He doesn’t get it… He
doesn’t get it” over and over and over.

The point is that if you DON’T GET IT, then nothing you do is going to work for
you.

The problem is bigger than you can imagine, and you’re going to need to take a
totally different road to get where you’re going…

WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST ABOUT SINGLE GUYS…

Let’s return to where we started.

There are a few particular things that REALLY annoy single, attractive women.

One of the reasons that these things annoy women is because they’re DEAL KILLERS.

A woman can like everything about you, but if you do these things (or even ONE
of these things), it can DESTROY your chances of success with a particular woman.

Here are a few of the BIG things that single women hate:

1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For Her Attention And Approval

If I had to describe the one single thing that both annoys women and DESTROYS
a guy’s chances, it would be this.

It has taken me a long time to see this particular pattern, but it’s EVERYWHERE.

Men, in effect, say “Hi, I want your approval and attention. I’m willing to let
YOU be the one who’s in control… and let YOU call the shots… and do anything
to please YOU… if you’ll give me your attention and
approval”.

But the problem is that women DON’T WANT you to give up your status and “manliness”.

Women aren’t ATTRACTED to men who act weak and tentative.

Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he’ll give
away his power in return for approval.

THEY HATE IT!

I could literally write an entire book on this one single concept.

Take a few minutes to think this one over, and maybe write down the ways that
you make this mistake with women.

More importantly, think about how you’re going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.

2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure

When one person “clings” to another person “psychologically”, the person who is
being “clinged to” RESENTS and REJECTS the needy,
clingy emotional parasite…

This is WUSS behavior at its worst.

If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just met, and she says “Hey, I have to
go”, he might say “Aw, well… um… OK. Um, will you call me when you get home?”.

Or let’s say a guy and a girl are out on their first date, and they’re walking
around in a large department store.

Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and not leave her side for a minute.

If she wanders away, he’ll come find her IMMEDIATELY.

He’ll stay physically close to her, as if he’s afraid she’ll leave without him.

And an even worse example is a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually
ASKS a woman to tell him that he’s nice, fun, interesting, etc.

“Do you think I’m interesting?”

“Do you think we could ever have a relationship?”

“Am I your type?”

Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes
them want to RUN AWAY.

3) Not Leading – And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her To Lead

Women have WUSS-DAR.

One of the things that triggers a woman’s WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.

The REAL problem is that most women won’t try to LEAD naturally.

So you’ve got a situation where a man is trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn’t LEADING.

He’s looking for little cues so he knows where to go and what to do… but he
isn’t getting them.

So what does he do?

He ASKS for them!

He says “So, I was thinking of maybe taking you to Olive Garden for dinner…
how does that sound?”.

Everything about the way he asks says to the woman “I’m trying to figure out what
you want me to do… please help me know how you want me to act, where you want
me to take you, and what you want me to say”.

This is ATTRACTION DEATH!

men who don’t lead, and even worse, try to get a woman to lead, ANNOY THE HELL
OUT OF SINGLE WOMEN.

They HATE IT!

4) Using Insecure, Approval-Seeking, Low-Status Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone,
And Body Language

There’s a term that single, attractive, in-demand women use to describe men who
use weak, approval-seeking posture, gestures,
comments, and mannerisms…

The term is “NICE”.

“He’s nice… but… there’s no chemistry.”

This is one of those areas that’s not easy to talk about.

Since SO DAMN MANY GUYS do this stuff, it’s almost impossible to explain.

It’s like trying to tell a fish that they’re not going to get anywhere in life
if they stay wet.

The fish doesn’t even KNOW it’s wet in the first place.

But let me try.

This is important.

Go spend a day observing couples.

Go places where couples that have just met spend time together.

Bars, clubs, coffee shops, whatever.

Now watch the GUYS.

Watch how they lean towards the women.

Watch how they raise their eyebrows in

Watch how they slump over, let their shoulders fall forward, and smile fake-ly
at whatever the women say.

If you’re close enough, listen to how men ask questions and make comments with
a voice tone that says “I’m insecure and I’m trying
to be extra nice to compensate for it”.

You’ll see it EVERYWHERE.

In fact, you’ll see it so much that you’ll probably write me back to tell me that
I’m the one who’s crazy, and that since it happens so much, it must be “the right
way”.

Well, it’s not.

If there’s one thing that triggers an attractive single woman’s WUSS-DAR, it’s
a man’s posture, gestures, eye contact, voice tone, etc.

It all happens in an INSTANT.

Women read this stuff and interpret it as instantly and accurately as you read
and interpret the cover of Playboy.

NO ANALYSIS NECESSARY.

I’d say that probably 90% of all men alive today INSTANTLY disqualify themselves
with women because of this problem.

Their voice tone, gestures, posture, etc. TELEGRAPH the message that they’re a
WUSS.

They do a thousand weird little things to let a woman know that they’re uncomfortable
and “not being themselves”.

And you guessed it…

Single women HATE IT!

5) Not Understanding That She’s A Woman And You’re A Man

I’m about to get philosophical on your ass, so be cool.

When it comes down to it, most men don’t understand women.

But the REAL kicker is that most men don’t understand MEN, either!

Most guys don’t know what it’s like to get in touch with their MALE NATURE.

Combine these two issues, and you get a guy who behaves in ways that DO NOT trigger
ATTRACTION in women.

Women have a “nature”. A female nature.

Men also have a “nature”. You guessed it, it’s a MALE nature.

Women are coy. They like to play hard to get. They like to enjoy the chase. They
love anticipation. They love to “let a guy catch them”…

Men are competitive. Men are dominant. Men like to play rough games, win things,
and rule their territory.

Well guess what?

Most men don’t BEHAVE like men when they’re in the presence of a woman that they
“like”.

And since most men don’t understand female human nature, they don’t demonstrate
that they “get it” when they’re with women that they “like”.

Women like men. Men like women. There are POWERFUL causes at play here.

When you’re around a woman you like, don’t act like a GIRLY-MAN. It’s not sexy,
and it’s not attractive…

And single women HATE IT!

6) Not Being Interesting To Be Around

Underneath most behavior that I see most guys acting out is a “core belief” that
goes like this:

“I don’t believe that an attractive woman would want to be around me just because
she enjoys my presence… so I make up for it by saying and doing certain things
that I hope she’ll enjoy… and if she enjoys those
other things enough, then maybe she’ll want to spend more time with me.”

Heavy, man.

Well guess what? Most attractive single women KNOW that if a guy isn’t interesting
to be around, they she’s eventually going to go CRAZY being around him.

In other words, no amount of material gifts, compliments, dinners, and other “displays”
will EVER compensate for a lack of BEING INTERESTING.

Here’s a profound thought:

I and several other guys I know have many women who call us often… just because
they enjoy being around us.

These women would be happy just to be in the same room with us… and enjoy our
company.

And yes, these women CALL US.

Often.

Material gifts, food, flowers, and other “displays” have ZERO lasting value to
a woman when it comes to how she FEELS about you…

An attractive single woman wants a guy who LIGHTS HER UP. She wants to FEEL GOOD.

She wants mystery… she wants to laugh… she wants a challenge… she wants
sexual tension…

If you’re using compliments, gifts, food, and other “displays” to get a woman’s
attention… you need to ask yourself a tough question:

Is it because you don’t believe that a woman would want to be around you just
to be around you?

Because if you don’t know how to be INTERESTING to a woman, then no amount of
compensation is going to fix the problem.

If you’re boring, predictable, and uninteresting, then you’re never going to have
women calling YOU to hang out.

Oh, and women HATE IT.

7) Not Understanding Attraction

This is a BIGGIE.

You hear me talking about it all the time, right?

Maybe now that you’ve read this newsletter you’ll have a better context to understand
what I’m about to tell you…

If you “get it” with women, it’s SUPER INTERESTING and ATTRACTIVE to them.

Women can INSTANTLY FEEL IT when they’re with a guy who “gets it”.

Women know very quickly if they’re talking to a guy who understands himself and
women… and who enjoys creating and building sexual tension.

Women know if a guy speaks the SECRET LANGUAGE of “Sexual Communication”.

If he doesn’t, then she stops all communication on that level.

If he does, then it continues.

ATTRACTION Isn’t A Choice.

Attraction is an emotional and physical RESPONSE… and you can’t “convince” a
woman to feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.

Attraction is the result of a woman meeting a man who understands how attraction
works… and who knows what to do in each specific
situation to progress to the next level.

The PROBLEM with ATTRACTION, and with success with women in general is that the
things you need to DO to be successful are NOT
OBVIOUS.

They’re “counter intuitive”, in many cases.

In other words, they’re the OPPOSITE of what you’d THINK would make sense.

You have to do things like CREATE TENSION… stop doing something that she likes…
give her time to miss you… etc.

And if you don’t understand ATTRACTION, a woman is going to KNOW IT.

And guess what?

Single women HATE IT when a man doesn’t understand ATTRACTION and how to communicate
on this “other level”.

Now that I’ve shared the mistakes, you need the next piece of the puzzle. You
need to get an education on how attraction works for women… and the RIGHT things
to do up front to give her those emotional/physical feelings inside.

Right now you’re probably feeling that excited “Ah Ha!” feeling.

That’s because you understand something at a different level… you’ve used your
mind to understand something complex… and you feel good about bettering yourself.

Well this is just the TIP of the iceberg.

As educational as this has been, this is only the beginning.

If you’re starting to realize how important it is to get this area of your life
handled, then I recommend you make a commitment and take your education to a WORLD
CLASS level.

And what’s the best way to do that?

Well, I’ve spent the last several years of my life figuring out exactly what does
and doesn’t work with women.

I figured this stuff out for MYSELF… and then I took what I’ve learned and put
it all together to help others learn as well.

My Double Your Dating eBook represents THOUSANDS of hours of research, testing,
getting to know guys who were successful with women, and generally organizing
every level of this knowledge into an easy-to-understand system that ANY guy can
use to increase his success with women and dating.

And I’ll tell you something…

It works.

This eBook is the most advanced and effective program of it’s kind available anywhere
at ANY price.

And I have an offer that you’re not likely to find repeated anywhere else…

I’ll send it to you at MY RISK.

You can try it out for a full 7 days, and if you don’t see MASSIVE results, just
let me know… and pay nothing.

That’s right, you can try it FREE for
7 days.

On top of all that, I’d like to invite you to sign up for my free, 3-times-weekly
dating tips newsletter.

There’s no obligation,
and you can easily remove yourself anytime. And believe me, I hate spam as much
as you do. You don’t have to worry about me ever sharing your email address with
anyone.

Free Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

________________________________________________________________

2001-2008 David DeAngelo Communications Inc,
All Rights Reserved.” Double Your Dating” and “David DeAngelo” are trademarks
used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.

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